Views & Reviews From Writer Steve Miller
Formerly Reviews and Stuff at Rotten Tomatoes, 2005 - 2009.

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Friday, July 2, 2004

If you think your job is bad...

... just remember that you could be working as the personal ass-wiper for Abu Hamza, evil scumbag (or, perhaps more accurately, shitbag) and Muslim "cleric" jailed in England for aiding and abbetting terrorists.


July 2, 2004
If being a Wimbledon ball-boy is one of the cushiest jobs in the world, then this must be one of the worst -- Abu Hamza's bottom wiper.

The Muslim extremist -- dubbed Hook -- has no hands and is unable to look after his own personal hygiene in Belmarsh jail.

So, says the Mirror, he has got a £30,000-a-year nurse, called Harry, whose job it is to do it for him.

"He's known as Dirty Harry," a prison source says. "This guy has got one of the worst jobs in the world. His main reason for being there is to clean Hamza's backside.

"Everyone's having a laugh about it, but Hamza can't be left unclean. It would be a health hazard."

Hamza has had his two metal hooks removed and been given two special £5,000 replacements because it was feared he could use the originals as weapons.

But how bad is the food in Belmarsh prison that Hook requires a full-time bum wiper? And who is this mysterious Harry?

UPDATE (20100: Abu Hook remains in Belmarsh Prison while the United States tries to secure his extridition to be tried on crimes there.

For a full backstory and more updates on the leaking sack o' shit that is Abu Hamza, click here to visit the Wikipedia page about him.

Abu Hamza: He's full of shit,
as Official Ass-Wiper Harry will confirm.

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