Views & Reviews From Writer Steve Miller
Formerly Reviews and Stuff at Rotten Tomatoes, 2005 - 2009.

Currently Showing at Cinema Steve

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

August best-sellers for NUELOW Games

Some of you may be aware that I've revived my little online publishing company. I did this, because I remain woefully under-employed and I might as well do SOMETHING with my time when not trying to line up work. (And, hey, if you have REAL work out there for a game designer/writer, I am available almost immediately!)

Here's a list of the best-selling NUELOW Games titles for the month of August. While we're not setting the world on fire, we're doing about what one can expect for an online publishing outfit with no star-power and no marketing budget. In other words, we're selling dozens of copies!

Best-selling NUELOW Games titles for August 2011

Click on the titles for more information.

1. Names in the Black Book by Robert E. Howard (horror fiction anthology)

2. From Dark Corners Vo1. 1 by Various (horror fiction anthology)

3. Rolf!: Santa vs. Santos vs. Jesus by Steve Miller and L.L. Hundal (game supplement)

4. The Deadly Sword of Cormac by Robert E. Howard (historical fiction anthology)

5. Rolf!: The Rollplaying Game of Big Dumb Fighters by L.L. Hundal and Steve Miller (core game rulebook)

If you've purchased any of our offerings, I thank you for your support. The earnings from your purchase have, quite literally, gone to keep my cats fed and my car running.

If you haven't tried any of our offerings, I invite you to do so.

If you are a fan of quality fiction, and would like something that reads well on your iPad, I recommend checking out our fiction offerings. The Robert E. Howard books are full of action and/or horror, while the John Kendrick Bangs titles are full of wry humor.

If you play traditional roleplaying games--the kind that require dice and paper and actually spending time in the same room with your friends--and have a sense of humor about your play-style, the ROLF! game is something to check out. The Larry Elmore illos in the core game and most of the supplements might even fill you with nostalgia for the good old days!

For more information and regular updates on NUELOW Games, you can visit the "company blog" by clicking here.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

There is a future in feces!

Jennifer Hale was quoted as saying, "There is a future in feces."

While that might lead one to think she's a spokesperson for Warner Bros. or some other major media company, Ms. Hale actually works for the Denver Zoo and she was discussion panda poop:

Panda Poop Could By Key To Producing Biofuels « CBS Denver: "The waste of one of the world’s most endangered animals may hold the key to producing biofuels. The potency of the discovery had scientists talking about it at a major chemistry conference in Denver on Monday."

Sure would be nice if there's something to this crap!

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Everything is better with Michael Bolton?

I wouldn't really describe myself as a fan of either Michael Bolton or Lady Gaga (in fact, I would describe myself as NOT a fan of the latter), but the combo of the two work really nicely in this soft little pop tune/love song, "Murder My Heart."

Of course, I doubt Bolton will ever top his team up with Lonely Island!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Tectonic Tuesday: Who to blame?!

At roughly 1:55pm Eastern Time, an earthquake with a preliminary magnitude of 5.8 hit the East Coast of the United States of America, with an epicenter in Virginia. Damage appears to have been light to non-existence, but airports have been closed and hysterical politicians have been evacuated from buildings throughout Washington, D.C.

But, as every intelligent and wise person knows, earthquakes are not caused by geological forces, but by immodest women.

This was revealed by the great latter-day Prophet of Allah, Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi--a man so wise and great that he should be second only in status to Mohammed and Jesus Christ--when in 2010 he told the world that: 'Many women who do not dress modestly ... lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes."

I conducted careful research that proved the Great Holy Man right with the Tectonic Tuesday series on this very blog.

On that note, here are some thoughts on which dangerous women may have caused today's earthquake, turning this day into a TRUE Tectonic Tuesday!

Angie Harmon
Is there anything more immodest than an actress portraying a tough, independent, intelligent woman in a television series? Probably not... and since she's done it on multiple series (most recently on "Rizzoli and Isles"), she might be the cause of today's quake.

The fact she's a vocal Republican only confirms her possible culpability.

Milla Jovovich

Already profiled as part of the Tectonic Tuesday series, there's a preview featuring her running in movie theaters (promoting the new "The Three Muskateers" movie) and it was recently announced that she will be back as Alice in the fifth Resident Evil movie. Increased Google searches of pictures for her (including 211 hits here, brought in by the search phrase "Milla Jovovich naked") may have brought the world to the brink of disaster!

Rose McGowan
Emancipated from her parents as a teenager, McGowan lacks respect for her elders. She also has a habit of appearing in films without wearing much in the way of clothes, like the latest "Conan the Barbarian" movie. With her flaunting her immodest ways on thousands of movie screens across the nation and the world, she could be the cause of quake.

Rachel Nichols

In recent years, she's appeared in form-fitting outfits in several wide-release movies, and she, like McGowan, is featured in scant clothing in the new "Conan the Barbarian" movie. Even worse, she has an on-screen sex scene with Jason Momoa. She is probably more culpable in causing this earthquake than McGowan, but it is very likely that the combination of both of them displaying their immodest ways in a single movie is what made the earth of the Eastern Seaboard tremble today.

An Alternate Theory

As the quake happened, President Barack Obama was playing golf, enjoying yet another of his many vacations. Given that Obama is, according to some sources, a Chosen One--second only to Mohammed and Jesus Christ--perhaps God made the earth move so that Obama's golf ball would roll across the green into the hole, gaining him a Hole-In-One?

Sunday, August 21, 2011

N is for Ninja, and that's good enough for me! (Still.)

N is for Ninja. N is for November. And while we're at it, N is also for Nine.

Last year, I declared November 1 - 9 as the Nine Days of the Ninja. Well, since November 1 - 9 only comes around once a year, I'm doing it again. I will once again be posting reviews and other Ninja-related items across my various blogs--and will even be releasing a Ninja supplement for "ROLF!: The Rollplaying Game of Big Dumb Fighters" through NUELOW Games--in celebration of the Nine Days of the Ninja.

Since playing with myself is not as fun as it might sound when there are Ninjas involved, I am inviting the rest of the blogging world to join with me in a celebration of the world's best-known secretive assassins. Maybe we can make a real blogathon out of this!

Post something Ninja-related to your blogs during the Nine Days of the Ninja. Send the link to me at, and I will list in in a Nine Days of the Ninja index post (The Ninjex?). Anything is fair game. Reviews of movies, cartoons/anime, and comics featuring Ninja and/or posts featuring information about the creators of such stuff, or just pictures of Ninja doing their thing--flipping out and killing things--are acceptable subjects. If you have existing posts, you can send me the links ahead of time, and I will link to the best of those as well.

Click here to see the After-Action Report for last year's Nine Days of the Ninja.

If you want to take part, or just want to promote Nine Days of the Ninja, you can use this logo.

Link back to this post, because it will eventually become the "Ninjex" of the 2011 Nine Days of the Ninja. And let me know if you do want to participate. I will link to your blog and let the world know.

I will be doing reminder posts and further plugs over the next few weeks, because when the monsters of October go away, the Ninja come out to play!

Or ARE They?!

Friday, August 19, 2011

Jimmy Sangster dead at 83

Screenwriter Jimmy Sangster, who penned some of the greatest gothic horror and suspense films from Hammer Films during the 1950s and 1960s died today, August 19.

Sangster began his career as an an assistant director and production manager and only reluctantly took up the task of writing the script for "Horror of Dracula" when the production ran into trouble. He went on from there to write dozens of more scripts for Hammer Films in just about every genre the studio made movies in, and even did some directing. During the 1970s, Sangster worked in Hollywood, writing some of the most celebrated episodes of "Wonder Woman," "Night Stalker," and "The Six Million Dollar Man."

Sangster died at his home in London from an as-of-yet undetailed cause.

Coming Soon: Talk Like a Pirate Day!

On Monday September 19, it's International Talk Like a Pirate Day. By way of a warm-up, here's a sampling of Scottish Pirate Metal Rock.

No, I did not make that up. That is how Alestorm describes themselves, and that is what they sound like. It's fun stuff. Watch the video. (It was made to promote Alestorm's latest album "Black Sails at Midnight.)

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Genius of the Jihadi summed up in a paragraph

Muslim terrorist threatens David Letterman: The terrorist called on Muslims in the United States to “cut the tongue of this lowly Jew and shut it forever,” according to a translation by SITE. The popular late-night television host is not Jewish.

There's stupid, there's ignorant, and then there's the Jihad-ing Lions of Islam.

I hope to God that David Letterman doubles-down on this and doesn't scurry away or try to make apologies. Apologies don't work with these psychos. All you can do if you're in their sights is tell them to go fuck their brothers (like they're doing anyway, when not posting to "Jihad websites" or raping little girls while fantasizing about fucking their brothers).

Molly Norris learned there's no apologizing to these child-raping, repressed homosexuals. She tried, and they still erased her. Letterman has the wealth and resources to stand up to them and keep doing his thing. I hope he has the spine to go with it.

These child-raping freaks can't be allowed to intimidate anyone into silence. Every time they try, those of us who care about freedom of speech need to strike back with more speech and cartoons and comments that will "offend" and "hurt" them.

We should all stand with Kurt Westergard, Salman Rushie, Molly Norris, David Letterman, and all the other artists and writers these pigs and monkeys have bullied and even murdered over the years.

And on that note, this development warrants a ceremonial Mo-toon.

Happy birthday, Roman Polanski!

A little song and video in honor of child-rapist and fugitive from justice Roman Polanski. He turns 78 today.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

The coming of the Brothers Barbarian!

Here's the premiere episode of a web-series written by and co-starring a former co-worker of mine, Ken Whitman. It also features fantasy artist Larry Elmore in what I assume is his screen debut... in a role where he's dressed (and barely dressed) like many of the characters he's painted over the years.

I'll have to see if I can get permission for a "ROLF!: The Rollplaying Game of Big Dumb Fighters" tie-in! :)

Saturday, August 13, 2011

It's 65 years today....

... since the great H.G. Wells passed away. If you only know his work from "The Time Machine" and "War of the Worlds," I suggest you check out an eBook anthology I put together for NUELOW Games.

"From Dark Corners" contains a total of thirteen short stories, but the three by Wells are some of his best horror tales, with "Country of the Blind" probably being my favorite of everything by Wells that I've read. (The rest of the book is made up by stories from Arthur Conan Doyle, Robert E. Howard, Bram Stoker, and Clark Ashton Smith.)

I posted a 50% discount offer at Terror Titans, but that offer will work just as well here. Click here to buy your copy of "From Dark Corners" for just $1.25, and start reading today! (The discount is good through the first week of September.)

In order to get the book at a discounted rate (or at all), you'll need an account with one of Onebookshelf's websites--be it DrivethruHorror, DrivethruFantasy, or RPGNow.

Friday, August 12, 2011

'Day of the Daleks' is a classic Doctor Who adventure

Doctor Who: Day of the Daleks (1972)
Starring: Jon Pertwee, Katy Manning, and Nicholas Courtney
Director: Paul Bernard
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

On the eve of an international summit that hopes to stave off a war between China and the United States, time travelers arrive to assassinate the British delegate, claiming he is the cause of the inevitable war, and that it is his fault the evil Daleks enslave humanity in the future. With the TARDIS out of commission, the Doctor uses their primitive time travel technology to go forward in time to stop the Daleks from meddling in the present.

"The Day of the Daleks" is a film that was created by editing together four episodes of the long-running British television series. They combine seamlessly and present an interesting tale of cause and effect in time travel. It's a little more cerebral than most of the original "Doctor Who" storylines, but the pay-off is worth it.

The Daleks--and other time travelers in play in this episode--are almost as sinister as they got during the original run of the series; this is one of those story-lines that makes it clear why the Doctor has the fearsome reputation they like to play on in the revival of the show. Even better, it features Katy Manning as Jo Grant, one of my favorite of the Doctor's Companions.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

The kittens! Won't anyone save the kittens?!

A desperate cry sends a brave fireman plunging into a raging inferno where he comes face to face with a firewitch and her flaming minions, as the World of ROLF invades ours following a spell gone awry!

ROLF: The Fireman vs. The Firewitch is the latest supplement for L.L. Hundal & Steve Miller's comedy game ROLF!: The Rollplaying Game of Big Dumb Fighters. With the usual assortment of pre-generated characters and new game rules, it's just about the only fun you can have for 50 cents anymore.

Download your copy today!

(And if you don't know what ROLF! is, then you need to click here to get yourself a copy of the basic game. (It's the most fun you'll have for $1.50.)

Monday, August 8, 2011

Now back to the good part!

Michael Bolton gets a guest shot with The Lonely Island for some cutting-edge hip-hop and reveals his true love in the process...

"Jack Sparrow" is included on The Lonely Island's second album of spectacularly goofy songs. Check it out. (And for more Jack Sparrow fun, come back on September 19 for our celebration of "Talk Like a Pirate Day"!)

"You complete me!"

Monday, August 1, 2011

Celebrate the U.S. deciding to honor its
obligations by stimulating the economy!

Well, our so-called leaders here in the States kinda-sorta did something about addressing the economic issues facing the United States of American, and they FINALLY got around to doing their Constitutionally mandated duties and made sure that all of the financial obligations of the Federal government will be met.

At least for a little while longer, since no serious effort was undertaken to address the more serious long-term problems.

But, I suggest you all out there celebrate by stimulating the economy and buying an eBook from NUELOW Games... I'd REQUIRE you to do so, but then I'd have to be a President, a member of Congress, or perhaps a character in "Alice in Blunderland."

Although written over 100 years ago, the jokes in "Alice in Blunderland" are distressingly fresh. John Kendrick Bangs might as well have been poking fun at today's political leaders, right down to how they deal with debt and government spending in the perfect town created by the Mad Hatter.

This PDF-format book--ideal for reading on laptops and iPads--is going to be on sale for $0.99 for the rest of this week. Check it out... you'll get a great read, and you'll help the U.S. economy by giving my distributor and I a few pennies!

Click here to see all the currently available eBooks and roleplaying game products currently avaliable from NUELOW Games. (It amuses me to no end that our current best-seller is a Christmas release. :D )