Views & Reviews From Writer Steve Miller
Formerly Reviews and Stuff at Rotten Tomatoes, 2005 - 2009.

Currently Showing at Cinema Steve

Monday, October 31, 2011

Best-selling titles in October

As some of you may know, I run a small (VERY small) publishing operation. And it's time for the monthly best-seller report.

NUELOW Games had a very good month. I attribute this to the fact that the Occupy the Gaming Table Movement really DOES represent 99% of all Americans. And then there were the better-than-expected sales on the collection of humor stories from Robert E. Howard, "Fists of Foolishness", doing better than expected, and a number of you out there taking advantage of our "Play a New RPG Month" discount package to try out "ROLF!: The Roleplaying Game of Big Dumb Fighters." Thank you for your support. I hope you felt that your money well spent!

Here are the top sellers.

Best-Selling NUELOW Games Titles for October 2011

1. ROLF!: The Rollplaying Game of Big Dumb Fighters [Core Game Rules]

2. ROLF!: Creature Feature [Supplement]

3. Fists of Foolishness [Short Story Anthology featuring works by Robert E. Howard]

4. ROLF!: Supermodel Slapfest [Supplement]

5. ROLF!: Herbert West vs. the Zombies [Supplement]

6. ROLF!: The Pimp, the Protester, and the Po-Po [Supplement]

7. ROLF!: The Associated Shades of Hades [Supplement]

8. ROLF!: Icing Oetzi [Supplement]

9. ROLF!: Hammerin' Tongs [Supplement]

10. ROLF!: The Breast Hope for Peace [Supplement]

Friday, October 28, 2011

Something for Seattlites to do on Halloween!

Are you one of those people who like to duck trick-or-treaters on Halloween? If so, Washington's Twelfth Night Productions is here to help!

This weekend--including on Halloween Night, Oct. 31--they are performing a recreation of Orson Welles's legendary "War of the Worlds" adaptation... the one that caused panic on the East Coast when listeners became convinced aliens really had landed and were firing death rays with wild abandon.

Click here for curtain times and more information.

Monday, October 24, 2011

McDonald's McRib sandwich returns!

And there was much rejoicing!

McDonald's McRib sandwich returns for second year in row | Reuters:

"It [the wondrous sammich that is the McRib] unfortunately does attract people, but does not contribute to a healthy diet," said Heather Morris, a dietitian at the Chicago-area Loyola University Medical Center.


If you ask me, anyone who in 2011 eats at McDonald's and excepts a healthy diet deserves clogged arteries and massive strokes.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Vignettes from The Lonely Island

I think the point at which I decided that rap was, generally speaking, a moronic stripe of popular music was when 2LiveCrew starting spewing garbage into the air during the late 1980s/early 1990s... and it's not gotten any better since.

That said, I am always amused when I come across comedy groups like The Loney Island. I first became aware of them with their "Jack Sparrow" single where they teamed up with Michael Bolton to skewer parody the rich fantasy life of many rappers and hip-hoppers by contrasting it with a different kind of fantasy life.

Here are some of The Lonely Island's best parody songs and videos, including ones where they team with famous performers who are so game that they make fun of their own styles and pop music genres. Great stuff... especially the ones mocking rap and hip-hop.

(I probably don't need to mention this, but these videos are NOT safe for work.)

First, let's meet the boys of The Lonely Island...

And here's one of the most honest songs and videos ever recorded. Jessica Alba is now officially forgiven for the crime of appearing in "The Love Guru."

This one carries with it a very important message. It should be heeded by all.

And their greatest hit so far... it almost tops "Jack Sparrow" as far as skewering rap songs and their videos.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Islands by Mike Oldfield (Bonnie Tyler lead vocalist)

A pretty song from a good album. The video's kind of weak, but there have been far worse made.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Nigerian pleads guilty to underwear bomb attack

This just in:

Jihadist pleads guilty to setting own penis on fire while attempting to murder innocent people on a Detroit-bound plane: "If you laugh with us now we will laugh with you later on the day of judgment," Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab said.

To which I respond: Sorry, Hot Rod. I'm too busy laughing AT you and your fellow misbegotten, moronic Lions of Islam to laugh with you.

I hope you rot in prison for a very long time. And I hope they laugh with you, as your cellmate wages Jihad on your ass.

Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab: Lion of Islam,
who aspired to turn his penis into Allah's flaming sword!
(Abdulmutallab is noted as the brightest follower of Anwar al-Awlaki.)

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Oh No! Al-Qaeda is mad & threatening to kill us!


Al-Qaida confirms killing of US-born "cleric": Al-Qaida's Yemeni offshoot on Monday confirmed the killing of U.S.-born militant cleric Anwar al-Awlaki late last month and vowed to avenge the propagandist's death.

Anwar al-Awlaki is presently being raped by demons in Hell, so it's a win for the good guys.

Still, he was held high regard by some, so I want to acknowledge his legacy, as respectfully as I know how... by posting a few cartoons of the Prophet Mohammed. He loved looking at them so much that he issued a death warrant on cartoonist Molly Norris when she apologized for offending idol-worshipers like al-Awlaki and promised not to draw any more Mohammed cartoons.

I hope Satan gives you a break between rape sessions, Anwar. It would be a shame if only your loyal followers got to see this small tribute to your legacy.

And, finally, an image of The Man Himself, as he would want to be remembered... surrounded by family and all he held dear.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Peace in our time?

Huda Naccache has become the first Christian Isreali model to appear in a bikini on the cover of an Arab magazine.

The photo-shoot took place in Haifa in northern Israel on September 18, 2011. The 22-year-old long-limbed model's appearance on the cover of an Arab-Israeli magazine clad in a skimpy bikini has sparked a media frenzy in Israel and who-knows how much masturbation in the halls of government in Gaza.

Read about more it here, as well as the on-going media frenzy in Isreal: AFP: Arab-Israeli model takes on critics... in a bikini.

Personally, I'm a-feared for the earthquakes Huda might bring upon us, even if this is a great omen for peace in the Middle East. Maybe God/Allah/the Great Pumpkin approves and He he'll let the whole "immodest women" thing slide this time?

Click here to enjoy more pictures of Huda. (Assuming you won't feel guilty about raising the risk of earthquakes.)

Saturday, October 8, 2011

One Night in Bangkok (Times Three)

I've just released the latest fiction anthology from my little online publishing company NUELOW Games, "Fists of Foolishness: The Tales of Sea-faring Boxing Champ Steve Costigan" by Robert E. Howard. While editing this book, one of the stories put me in mind of a song I hadn't thought of in years... "One Night in Bangkok".

Steve Costigan has quite a lot in common with the character in the song, I thought. They both travel to exotic cities, but they are usually so wrapped up in their sport--chess for the guy in the song, boxing for Costigan--to even notice the sites or other opportunities the places might offer.

And then there's the refrain, "One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble." At least one hard man is invariably humbled in the Costigan stories....

Having so reflected on the song, I decided to chase it down and see if it matched my memory. It did, sort of. Here are the top three versions and/or videos I came across.

First, here is the one that is best know. It's the official version of the song that was used to promote the musical and tie-in record from which it was drawn, "Chess". It features Murray Head, who was also the lead in the stage production. and it topped the charts all throughout Europe for months.

I also found that lots of the tone and imagery in the video is actually in line with that found in the Costigan stories, but that is because they both draw from the same well.

Another version of the song, which became a hit even before the "official" song had hit the airwaves was this one. It's an interesting arrangement, as its delivery and style of the video puts you in mind of a reporter while the song is being performed rather than a player like during the Head version.

And then there's this one. I'm including it mostly so you can test your stamina. But also because it's performed by disgraced boxing champ Mike Tyson. (By the way, Tyson is the sort of guy that Costigan would have gone out of his way to beat the crap out of. Not only did Tyson have a reputation, but he was an abuser of women and so would deserve to be laid out on the canvass.)

Please check out "Fists of Foolishness: The Tales of Sea-faring Boxing Champ Steve Costigan". I think it features some great writing and some funny stories, whether you like boxing or not. (I happen to think boxing is boring and a waste of time, blood, and brain cells on the part of the athletes taking part, but I still love these stories.)

This book is the first in a projected two-volume series, with the follow-up, "Shanghaied Mitts: More Tales of Sea-faring Boxing Champ Steve Costigan" presenting an additional ten stories.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Westboro Baptist Church Announces Protest
of Steve Jobs’ Funeral…on the iPhone


Mike Flynn has some commentary here, as well as an invitation to make your own Phelps jokes.

Me, I'm starting to wonder of the Westboro Baptist Church hasn't been the longest-running piece of performance art in the history of the world, starring a group of masters of dark satirical comedy.

I mean, no one can possibly be THAT stupid, can they?

Steve Jobs dead at 56

Apple co-founder and Chairman Steve Jobs died today. He was 56.
Jobs had been suffering from various health issues following the seven-year anniversary of his surgery for a rare form of pancreatic cancer in August 2004. Apple announced in January that he would be taking an indeterminate medical leave of absence. Jobs then stepped down as chief executive in late August, citing his inability to "meet my duties and expectations" stemming from his illness.

In a statement, Apple said paid tribute to its one-time leader as " a visionary and creative genius" adding that the world had "lost an amazing human being."

Jobs "died peacefully today surrounded by his family," the family said in a statement, which went on to thank the "many people who have shared their wishes and prayers during the last year of Steve's illness" and promise a website for those who wish to offer tributes and memories.

I've been an Mac user and lover since my first year of college when I went into the computer lab and couldn't figure out how to use the DOS-based machines -- that was, literally, the first time I'd ever tried to use a computer outside a little night class taken during 10th grade. The person at the desk then handed me a little blue disk and said, "Try this intead.."

Five minutes later, I was happily typing my paper.

Three days later, I bought my first Mac at the Campus Bookstore, using the student pricing. It was a Macintosh SE with a built-in hard drive.

I later upgraded to a Mac IIci. From there, I went to a Powerbook 5300c. That little gray beast served me until 2000 when I got the blue and white Clamshell iBook... it looked like a toy, but it served me well the next several years until I upgraded to an iBook G4. Apparently, there were all sorts of problems with that model, but that little white box has never given me any trouble, other than the letters have been worn off on many of the keys from all the typing I did. It still serves as my back-up machine, and there is some graphics editing software on it that I like and which I've not found any that let me do the same sort of cutting and pasting that works under OS10.5.

Speaking of which, that brings me to my most current Macintosh... my wonderful MacBook Pro.

I'm not a big techie, and I'm not an early adapter (or an adapter of many things period... the Smart Phone thing is still something I'm staying away from) but I do love my iPod Touch. And I've loved working on each and every Mac I've used, from all the machines listed above, to the ones that sat on my desks at The Chronicle, TSR, and Wizards of the Coast. (I hated the DOS machine at PBS, and I only have slightly less disdain for the Windows machines at Cencon Corp and H&R Block.)

Thank you, Steve Jobs, for making my college years and working life so simple. May you rest in peace.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Stayin' Alive in the Wall

They mixed the most famous Bee-Gees song with the most famous Pink Floyd Song, edited together videos... and out came something surprisingly good! Check it out!

Monday, October 3, 2011

Mike Oldfield: Earth Moving

I seriously disliked his 1989 album when it was first released, and I panned it like nothing I'd ever panned before or since in a music review. It was a collection of pop songs that had all obviously been penned and recorded with the intention of making nothing more than a collection of pop songs, I ranted at the time.

20+ years, I have completed a reevaluation of "Earth Moving" that started about five or six years ago when I listened to it again. Either my tastes have evolved/deteriorated, or the level of crap that is current standard in pop music makes even disappointed Mike Oldfield sound fantastic. I now find myself liking all but a couple tracks.

Here's the video for the title track from the "Earth Moving" album. I'm not sure I care for the video--it doesn't match my mental images when I hear the song--but it remains relevant with its environmental message. (Even if the singer looks so thoroughly late 1980s that there's no doubt when it was recorded.)