Views & Reviews From Writer Steve Miller
Formerly Reviews and Stuff at Rotten Tomatoes, 2005 - 2009.

Currently Showing at Cinema Steve

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Dennis Hopper dead at 74

Actor Dennis Hopper passed away early this morning of complications from prostate cancer. He was 74.

Hopper's film career spanned 50 years, appearances in over 100 different movies of wildly differing genres, and even a turn as director on the celebrated picture "Easy Rider."

Friday, May 28, 2010

'Men in Tights' is hilarious Robin Hood spoof

Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)
Starring: Cary Elwes, Roger Rees, Amy Yasbeck, Richard Lewis, Mark Blankfield, Dave Chapelle, Megan Cavanagh, Eric Allan Kramer, and Tracey Ullman
Director: Mel Brooks
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

In "Robin Hood: Men in Tights", Mel Brooks pokes fun at Robin Hood movies from the classic "Adventures of Robin Hood" starring Errol Flynn through the sloppy and ludicrously politically correct "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves" starring Kevin Costner, while throwing in a heaping helping of satirical modern pop culture references and fourth-wall humor of a level of hilarity that the makers of films like "Superhero Movie!" can only dream of reaching.

When "Robin Hood: Men in Tights" is at it's best, it rivals Mel Brooks films like "Young Frankenstein" in its craziness and hilarity, but when it falters, it really stalls out. Basically, everything involving Robin Hood and his men in the forest ranks among some of the funniest material to ever be featured in a Mel Brooks movie, with the songs being particularly hilarious. Unfortunately, the opposite it true of just about anything that happens in King John's castle, which tends to be unfunny, slow-paced and generally fairly stupid. (The only exception to this are the fun homages to the sword duels of the Errol Flynn films when Robin Hood takes on the entirety of King John's army in the castle's great hall and the final duel between Robin and the Sheriff at the end of the movie.)

The weakness of the sections in the castle are purely a problem with the script, as Cary Elwes is equally funny and swashbuckler-esque in the Errol Flynn mode throughout the film, and Roger Rees is likewise consistently hilarious as the twitchy and tongue-tied Sheriff of Rottingham. (These two actors serve as the comedic heart of the film, with everyone else giving performances that bounce of them or orbit around them.)

While "Robin Hood: Men in Tights" is an uneven effort from Mel Brooks, it is not as bad as some would lead you to believe. In fact, I might say that the "Sherwood Rap" and "Men in Tights" songs make this movie worth seeing by themselves. Also, anyone who rolled their eyes at Kevin Costner's sad performance in "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves" will especially appreciate Robin Hood's response to why the peasants will follow him in revolt against the king, "'Because unlike some other Robin Hoods, I speak with an English accent."

Gary Coleman dead at 42

Actor-turned-security officer Gary Coleman died Friday at the age of 42. The "Diff'rent Strokes" star had suffered a brain hemorrhage and died in a Utah hospital.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Tectonic Tuesdays: Alicia Rickter

Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi (the Imam of Imams) said, "Many women who do not dress modestly [...] spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes."

The question: Is Imam Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi wise beyond mortal ken, or just a madman with his turban wound too tight? Read on and find the answer.

Sixth Case Study: Alicia Rickter

The appopriately named Alicia Rickter is a now-retired model and actress who spent her entire career engandering the planet! She appeared in an earth-shattering photospread as the 500th Playmate of the Month is the October 1995 issue of Playboy, causing a devastating earthquake in China that left over 6000 people homeless. She exposed herself again in the pages of Playboy in 1997, bringing about massive earthquakes in northern Iran and central India that killed hundreds and once again left thousands of people homeless.

But Alicia Rickter posed the greatest threat to humanity when she starred in "Baywatch Hawaii," a television program devoted almost exclusively to letting immodest women show off their cataclysm-causing bodies. During 2000 and 2001, she and the other women on that program caused earthquakes in the Phillipines, Peru and India.

It's all because of the immodesty of Alicia Rickter.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

The last 'Everybody Draw Mohammed' post?

The Big Event is here and gone. The bad actors (like the government of Pakistan) behaved as one could expect, but I hope the larger point got across: Islmofacists won't be able to scare the common American into silence with their threats... or, it would seem, the common Westerner in general.

This thing turned out to be a whole lot bigger than I would have thought. I really did think it would peter out rather than build and build toward May 20. I guess I'm not the only one who is pissed off at the say a handful of twisted morons can make governments and corprations snap to because they make threats.

There has been a lot of talk about the "good Muslim" and the "peaceloving Muslim" and the "moderate Muslim" who was offended by these cartoons. Well, I hope that Muslim got the message that I am equally offended by his allowing those who associte with him to bully and intimidate the people they don't agree with.

I still question the notion that the "good Muslim" and the "peaceloving Muslim" and the "moderate Muslim" have any influence whatsover where it counts in Islam, however. And my conclusion is strenghtened by this flim clip. It is the full film from the fantatics disrupting Lars Vilks lecture. (I agree that the film clip he present3ed was offensive. *I* was offended, and I have only slightly more respect for Mohammed than I have for Adolf Hitler. It wasn't pornographic--that's more of the usual Muslim exaggerations and lies--but it was a bit much.)

However, I think I did spot a couple of those "good" and "peaceloving Muslims" is the crowd of "protesters," and that's why I'm posting this clip. There's one guy in a white shirt and cap who looks very uncomfortable as his fellow "protesters" go ape-shit around him. He can even be seen shaking his head and looking disgusted at more than one occassion. Then there's the guy who talks a couple of his stupider cohorts to refrain from provoking and attacking the police.

If those two had been the majority of the "protesters," I doubt I would have felt the need to take part in "Everybody Draw Mohammed Day," because there wouldn't even have been a need for such an event.

But, until such time as the Muslims grow up and/or stop behaving like it's 1934 and they're members of the Nazi Party, then there will be more such events by those who refuse to be cowed by their threats and outbursts. Because every educated person knows exactly where we'll end up if we do.

Friday, May 21, 2010

'The Great Race' is a great time

The Great Race (1965)
Starring: Tony Curtis, Jack Lemmon, Natalie Wood, Peter Falk, and Keenan Wynn
Director: Blake Edwards
Rating: Ten of Ten Stars

In 1908, The Great Leslie (Curtis), a famed daredevil who all men want to be and who all women want, proposes a race from New York to Paris to celebrate the glory of the automobile and the power of the American automotive companies. The race gets strange and crazy when Leslie's nemesis--rival daredevil Professor Fate (Lemmon) and his sidekick Max (Falk)--decide the circum-global race is the perfect opportunity to show that he's the superior man--and cigarillo-smoking suffergette Maggie DuBois (Wood) decides the race is the perfect chance to prove a liberated woman is the equal of any man.

"The Great Race" is a spectacular spoof of movies like "Around the World in 80 Days" and a fantastic homage to the style of comedy seen in the silent movies and early talkies. Jack Lemmon and Peter Falk are great as the bumbling, highly sympathetic villains of the piece, Natalie Wood is hilarious (not to mention drop-dead gorgeous) as the ever-scheming pig-headed Maggie DuBois, and Tony Curtis stands as the brave and so-virtious-dirt-never-sticks-to-his-all-white-clothing-and-so-sauve-his-car-never-runs-out-of-chilled-champagne romantic hero Leslie at the center of the crazy antics of the film's antagonists. (There's a pie fight that breaks out in the movie's second half, and Leslie wanders through the mayhem and never gets so much as a fleck of whip cream on him!)

From beginning to end, this is a good-natured film, filled with likable and even lovable characters. Although Professor Fate and Max are constantly trying to sabotage Leslie's stunts, are trying to win the race through all sorts of underhanded tricks, everything seems to be in good fun. (Well, not from Professor Fate's point of view, but the audience can't resent him, because nothing ever goes right for him... and he's obviously so insecure that if he wasn't so funny we'd be feeling sorry for him.)

Another source of this movie's charm is that it contains virtually all the standards of the classic movie comedies from the 1920s and into the 1930s, as well as many of the standards of the "steampunk" movie genre that flourished briefly in the 1960s (which included such flicks as "Around the World in 80 Days", "At the Earth's Core", and "First Men on the Moon") in the form of the flying bicycle, submarine, and bizarre automobile that Professor Fate and Max travel around on.

The film also spoofs classic meldodramas, via the upstanding Leslie and the dastardly Professor Fate and by including a hilarious "Prisoner of Zenda" take-off where Professor Fate is roped into posing as the Crown Prince of Potzdorf by evil Prussians because of the uncanny likeness he shares with the dimwitted drunkard. We're treated to a swordfight as Leslie once again has to save the day, and one of the most hilarious displays of American patriotism on screen ever filmed. (Even while typing this, I find myself chuckling at recollection of Natalie Wood and Keenan Wynn breaking into "God Bless America" while imprisoned in the Potzdorf dungeon.)

Every scene in this film, and every actor performing, displays perfect comedic timing. There isn't a gag that doesn't come off perfectly, there isn't a scene that runs overlong, and there isn't a moment wasted in the film. Jack Lemmon and Peter Falk make a great team in their Laurel & Hardy-inspired roles, and Natalie Wood is funnier and more gorgeous than she ever was in any other movie she made. Tony Curtis has the thankless job of being the straight man, but he is perfect as the dashing hero.

I've seen the 160-minute running time mentioned as being too long, but to me it seemed just right--and I generally think that a movie shouldn't run more than 100 minutes. Perhaps the criticism of the film as being to long comes from the way we watch it today; when it was shown in theaters, there was an intermission just before the film launches into the Potzdorf segment. As fate would have it, my viewing of the film was interrupted almost at that same exact moment, so I got the "intermission experience", and I therefore didn't get restless. Still, at the rate the gags were coming--and as funny as Jack Lemmon was playing the dual role of Professor Fate and Prince Hapnick, I still doubt I would have felt the film was too long. Everything and everyone is perfect in this movie.

Blake Edward's REAL "Ten" isn't the movie he made by that title, but rather "The Great Race". It's a must-see for lovers of classic movies and great comedies.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

The Day of a Million Mohammeds!

It's May 20th, the fictitious "Everybody Draw Mohammed Day" that became a reality. Here's my contribution to a demonstration of how sick and tired we decent citizens of America (and the rest of the civilized world, actually) are of thin-skinned Muslims threatening violence and committing mayhem and murder whenever they feel offended.

I hope this day marks the point where Americans stop cowering and/or genuflecting in the face of deranged idolaters of the Prophet Mohammed and start firmly defending the freedoms of expression that are among our inalienable rights. That we have freedom of expression is one of those things that all Americans should hold to be self-evident.

I hope this day marks the end of the encroachment of Islamic fundamentalism threatening our freedom of speech, an encroachment that's been doing on since 1989 and the death threats against Salman Rushdie. (One might even say they've been doing it since 1977 and the murders that a Islamic radical group committed in Washington D.C. over the screening of "Mohammed, Messenger of God." But that lunatic fringe group wasn't backed by governments the way some of the crazies are now.)

Draw Mohammed Day Links

That is a real picture, from what the organizers described as a "successfully peaceful demonstration" against Everybody Draw Mohammed Day in Pakistan (Lahore, I think) on May 17. Even when being peaceful, it seems there are some Muslims who just can't help themselves when it comes to the death threats.

And while Facebook (being a corporate entity) is probably not willing to die in defense of freedom of expression, I like to think that I am. But I also hope I'll never be called upon to fully sjow the courage of my convictions!

Here are some links to art galleries and articles focused on Everybody Draw Mohammed Day. (If you know of one I should list here, email it to me at I will also happily post a cartoon you've drawn, if you don't feel like posting it yourself.)

All of the links open in a new window.

Everyone Draw Mohammed (New Cartoons throughout the Day!)

Cartoons to Die For (Looking at the Left)

Everybody Draw Muhammed Day! (Shades of Gray)

Drawings of Mohammed, in Defense of Human Life (The Objective Standard)

Everybody Draw Mohammed Day in Opposition to Violent Intimidation (Jihad Watch)

The Facebook Galleries

A Draw Mohammed Day Compilation (The Friendly Atheist)

Contest Winners! (Blazing Cat Fur)

Inky Al-Jihadi (Mark Fiore)

The Mohammed Image Archive (The Zombie Times)

Dhimmitude and Draw Mohammed Day (Michelle Malkin)

'The Message' is epic tale of Islam's founding

The Message (aka "Mohammed, Messenger of God") (1976)
Starring: Anthony Quinn, Michael Ansara, Michael Forest and Irene Papas
Director: Moustapha Akkad
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

This is the tale of the Prophet Mohammed and his early followers. from his first visions, to his persecution by the pagan merchant lords of Arabia, through the founding of the first Mosque in Medina, and his eventual triumphant return to Mecca at the head of an army of believers.

"The Message" is an interesting film that provides a window for non-believers into how Muslims view Mohammed, the founder of their religion. It's a little like "The Ten Commandments" crossed with "Ben Hur", but it is an interesting excersize in filmmaking aside from being a sweeping epic with the scenery, costuming and battle scenes the audience expects from films like this.

Due to the obsession modern-day Muslims have with portrayals of the Prophet Mohammed, director Akkad had to make his movie without showing Mohammed on screen or even allowing his voice to be heard. This leads to some very odd moments where characters react to seeing Mohammed or to things he says that we either don't hear or are repeated by other characters. In general, though, the film is an interesting tale of a conflict between a struggling new religion

Interestingly, the Islam presented in this film is very different than the one that seems to be practiced by the Muslims of nations like Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, Afghanistan... any other Muslim-dominated nation where women are mistreated, brutality and oppression is the order of the day, and non-Muslims are mistreated at every turn. The Islam portrayed in this film is indeed the "religion of peace" that only applied violence when confronted with violence and that indeed did not oppress nor threaten or kill innocent people.

Mostapha Akkad has explained in interviews, in a making-of documentary, and in his very informative SAP commentary on the DVD that he hoped this movie would help inform Americans and others in the Western world about the truth of Islam and the Prophet Mohammed. Certainly, if Muslims are as moved emotionally by the tale of Mohammed as you will be by watching this movie--even with the quirky absence of its focal character--one can understand why they insist that he was a man of peace and why they claim the follow a religion of peace.

Many Muslims could probably benefit from watching this film and taking the messages it ascribes to Mohammed to heart. Unfortunately, from the very beginning, violent and crazed extremists were more interested in strangling free speech and even silencing the message of their own Prophet. American Muslims took hostages in Washington, D.C. when this film was released in 1977 to "protest" the film, murdering a journalist in the process. (This despite the fact that Akkad sought the blessings and permission to make his movie from leading Islamic religious scholars in Egypt and Syria.)

Heck, the violence over "The Message" can be equated to the idiocy that RevolutionMuslim recently engaged in over the "South Park" episode. Neither featured ANY portrayals of Mohammed... although this film did show his camel and the blade of his sword.

An even greater irony is that so many Muslims have either forgotten or choose to ignore their own religion's prohibitions against killing innocent civilians and women that Mostapha Akkad himself was murdered by a Muslim suicide bomber while attending his daughter's wedding in Jordan in 2005. Click here for the tragic details.

Regardless, if you enjoy epics like "The Ten Commandments" (or just "Hercules and the Captive Women"), you'll find a lot to like in "The Message." You might even find a little insight into why so many people idolize the figure of Mohammed. The large-scale battles sequences are especialy well done. Heck, you can even watch the film in Arabic if you want a "pure" version of it; the current release contains both versions that Akkad shot--two different films using the same sets and locations but with different actors.

Everybody Draw Mohammed Day:
The Best of the Bravest

This post offers a selection of my favorite cartoons from the "Everyone Draw Mohammed Day" blog run by Aaron Worthing. He's done a wonderful job these past three weeks, sorting and posting drawings of the Prophet Mohammed (may peas be upon him) from artists all around the world.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Everybody Draw Muhammed Day:
Set to Music!

The proprietor of the Blazing Catfur blog has been holding an "Everybody Draw Mohammed Day" contest. The finalist entries have been put to music in a YouTube video. (Is this the official theme song for "Everybody Draw Mohammed Day"? Will it be the "White Christmas" of our movement?!)

And here's another bunch of Mohammed cartoons set to music. (Thanks to Aaron Worthing at the "Everyone Draw Mohammded" blog for the link.

Happy Everyone Draw Mohammed Day!

Why HE Draws

A column from Marlon Mohammed. He discusses, among other things, where repeated capitulation to Muslim histronics can lead.

Muslims who feel like they’re being “discriminated” against by the campaign to draw Mohammed are wrong. They’re merely being held to the same standards as all other religious groups in America.

Why I Will Draw Mohammed

'Everbody Draw Mohammed' cartoonist: I'm against my own concept becoming a reality.

Just a reminder... May 20th is "Everybody Draw Mohammed Day." It started as a joke, in a one-off cartoon by Seattle artist Molly Norris. Despite comments made immediately after she put the cartoon in the web, she has been saying for weeks that she never intended to have it be a REAL day/protest against Muslim extremists threatening cartoonists and other creatives. She also wishes that the day would be "called off."

'Everbody Draw Mohammed' cartoonist: I'm against my own concept becoming a reality

Me, I think it's important that as many drawings featuring the Prophet Mohammed (may peat be upon him) show up on as many websites as possible. The organized Muslim assault on freedom of expression beyond the "Muslim world" that began in 1989 must be stopped.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Why We Draw 3

The website for Reason Magazine features an editorial that sums up my thoughts and feelings about why Everybody Draw Mohammed Day is an absolute must. It's a defense of values that are at the very core of American culture, a culture I wish more of our leaders and so-called intellectuals were willing to make a stand for.

But, enough from me. Click here to read the article. Not only does it speak to the reason why supporters and participants in Everybody Draw Mohammed Day aren't all a bunch of hate-mongers and bigots--there are far more of those on the other side of this issue, the side that wants to silence expression they don't agree with through any means neccesary--but it offers some tidbits about the "Danish Cartoon Controversy" you might not be aware of.

You can also click here to see a preview of my contribution to the event.

Although... you shouldn't be reading this. You should be drawing a cartoon of your own. Because if you don't stand up for freedom of expression, it's looking more and more like no one will.

Even Adam Gadahn would have joined in--he loves him some freedom of expression, Adam does--but he's too busy trying to score some pot without the CIA picking him up.

Tectonic Tuesdays: Jennifer Garner

Full of the sort of insight and wisdom that can only come from all-mighty Allah Himself, the Great Imam Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi revealed that "Many women who do not dress modestly [...] spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes."

Here's the next installment in the series of proofs that he's right.

Fifth Case Study: Jennifer Garner

Jennifer Garner had been appearing on movies and television shows for roughly five years when she emerged as a threat to the ground beneath your feet. From 2001 to 2005 she starred starred in the television series "Alias," where she not only appeared in skimpy outfits, but she played a woman spy who showed very little deference to male authority figures. And as a result, the world was rocked by the Nisqualli earthquake in the United States (2001) and the appropriately named, city-leveling Bam earthquake in Iran (2003).

In the 2003, Garner appeared in the comic book adaptation "Daredevil." She played Elektra, once again portraying a character who not only wore revealing outfits but who also did not respect her man. When she reprised her role as the star of the sequel, "Elektra", the result were the 2005 Kashmir and Sumatra earthquakes.

Note that in 2003 and 2005, Garner was showing herself in both a television series and in movies. The earth trembled as a result, bringing down buildings and ending lives.

All because of the immodesty of Jennifer Garner.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Why We Draw 2

Last week, I posted a link to an article about Muslim whackjobs attacking an artist during a lecture on free speech. They were upset about the fact that he had drawnn a cartoon of the Prophet Muhammed (may peas be upon him). Apparently, they have poor impulse control AND are too stupid to see the irony of their assaulting someone in an effort to curb freedom of expression through terror during a lecture on freedom of expression.

The attacks against Lars Vilks continue, as described in this article, as well as the two others that linked within it.

Arson attack on Muhammad artist’s home - The Local

"Everybody Draw Mohammed Day" is not because of hatred toward Muslims. Heck, it's not even prompted by hatred toward those Muslims who are either so backwards or so psychotic that they physically attack anyone they feel has offended their delicate and childish sensibilities. It's a day to demonstrate that those who believe in freedom of expression will not be intimidated by the likes of them. We value our freedom of expression more than they value the Prophet Mohammed (may pleats be upon him), and we will not be cowed by their pagan idolatry of his person.

May 20, 2010, is "Everybody Draw Mohammed Day." I hope it will be remembered as the Day of a Million Mo's. I hope everyone reading this will post a drawing.

I'll be happy to post it for you here or at Shades of Gray if you don't have a web-outlet of your own, or if you want to remain anonymous. Or you can submit your cartoon here.

Meanwhile, here's one of the many Mohammed cartoons that have been showing up on the web as we build toward May 20.

Great film presents outdated future

Escape From New York (1981)
Starring: Kurt Russell, Lee Van Cleef, Ernest Borgnine, Isaac Hayes, Donald Pleasence, and Adreinne Barbeau
Director: John Carpenter

In a 1980s vision of a dark future, Manhattan Island has been turned into a massive prison where the worst of the worst of American criminals are sent to live out their lives with no chance of ever being freed. After Air Force One crashes into the prison, decorated war-hero turned violent criminal Snake Pliskin (Russell) is recruited by the authorities to rescue the president.

What follows is one of the best adventure movies ever made, with touches of dystopic sci-fi, humor, horror, and action mixing easily together. Snake's quest through the deadly, decaying streets of Manhattan take him from strange to stranger, and from bizarre to deadly, as he penetrates ever-deeper into the nightmarish world that the prisoners have created. As if the cannibals and crazies weren't enough, Snake is also fighting the clock: Commisioner Hauk (Van Cleef) had Snake injected with time-released poison capsules that will kill him if he isn't back with the president in 22 hours.

"Escape From New York" is full of great moments of horror, humor, and action. Every actor puts on great performances, with Russell's Clint Eastwood imitation as Pliskin, Van Cleef as coldblooded prison warden/police commissioner Hauk, and Hayes as the insane, intensely evil Duke of New York being the most impressive. It's a movie that stands up to repeated viewings, with perfect pacing, magnificent sets, and an excellent electronic score that also ranks among Carpenter's greatest works.

If there's anything wrong with the movie, it's that its "near-future setting" hasn't aged well...but that is the complaint that can be made of ANY film that says "here's what tech will be like 20 years from now."

(From the News Department--Bad News Department: "Escape From New York" is yet another film that's going to be the subject of a crappy remake. Click here for the tragic news. While I agree this is one movie that's outdated, it's also a movie that there is no way they'll be able to match quality-wise.)

Friday, May 14, 2010

Another Roman Polanski rape victim?

A week after Roman Polanski released a self-serving press-release where he whines about being under house arrest at a Swiss chalet and blames everyone but the fact that he's a convicted rapist who fled sentencing for his "troubles," a second victim may have stepped forward.

Click here to read the AP article about her press conference and claims.

(Let me predict what Polanksi's defenders and apologists are going to say: "Why is she coming forward, now? After all these years? What kind of scam is she trying to pull?! To which I would have to ask: "Do you wonder the same about men and women who come forward to claim rape by pedophile priests decades after the fact?" Or do you reserve your doubts only for those who are raped by Artists?")

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Muslim holy men respond to
'Everybody Draw Mohammed Day'

Another video posted in interest of giving the other side (you know, the side who want to stifle your freedom of expression and kill those the don't agree with).


Wednesday, May 12, 2010

"Everybody Draw Mohammed Day"
is brought to you in part by...

I hope everyone reading this will take the time to draw and post a cartoon on May 20. If you don't have a blog of your own, I will be happy to post it here or at "Shades of Gray". Email your cartoons as a jpg attachment to me at Mention Everbody Draw Mohammed Day in the header.

Our political leaders and the media moguls aren't willing to stand up to the terrorists who want to take away our freedom of expression, so it's up to us to do so.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Why We Draw

STOCKHOLM – A Swedish artist who angered Muslims by depicting the Prophet Muhammad as a dog was assaulted Tuesday as angry protesters interrupted his university lecture about the limits of artistic freedom.

Click here to read the full article from the AP. Or, better yet, watch the video of the mob of "protesters" trying to physically assault an artist for drawing a cartoon of the Prophet Mohammed (may piss be upon him). (I wonder what that balding guy in the vest was putting back in his pocket.)

These people need to learn they don't have a right to not be offended. More importantly, they need to learn that they don't have a right to assuault those they take offense at. And, finally, they need to learn for every "blasphemer" they try to silence through intimidation and violence, ten more will show up.

Please. Everyone draw a cartoon of Prophet Mohammed (may peat be upon him) and post it to the web on May 20. I will post it for you here if you want to remain anonymous and/or are afraid of Muslim thugs and terrorists. Send me your cartoons at Or better yet, send them to one of the many blogs participating in the "Everybody Draw Mohammed Day" that are specifically set up for this demonstration. They have a far broader audience than I do.

By the way, here's the cartoon by Vilks that gives some Muslims the notion they have the right to attack and perhaps even murder him.

Tectonic Tuesdays: Salma Hayek

Imam Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi recently revealed that "Many women who do not dress modestly [...] spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes."

A man this wise MUST be a prophet, a prophet on the magnitude of Mohammed [may peas be upon him] and Jesus Christ [may Neosporin be upon him]. The only right thing to do is to spread his message by offering scientific reinforcement for his divinely inspired insight. And this is where "Tectonic Tuesday" comes in.

Fourth Case Study: Salma Hayek

Salma Hayek got her start in a soap opera on Mexican television, but it wasn't until 1996 that she became a danger to the world. That was the year she appeared in "From Dusk to Dawn," as a vampire exotic dancer wearing a snake and a small bikini. That same year, the Lijiang earthquake in southwestern China killed 200 people and left 300,000 without homes; Seattle on the west coast of the United States was rocked by an earthquake; and the Kobe earthquake in souther Japan claimed the lives of over 6,000.

Hayek has endangered the world many times since 1996, displaying her ample cleavage and causing earthquakes with 1999's "Wild Wild West" (a quake and subsequent tsunami rattled Turkey), 2004's "After the Sunset" (quakes in East Timor and Columbia), and 2006's "Bandidas" (an earth quake in Java that killed over 6,000 and injured more than 33,000).

All because of the immodesty of Salma Hayek.

Monday, May 10, 2010

'Shaolin Soccer' scores!

Shaolin Soccer (2001)
Starring: Stephen Chow, Man Tat Ng, Zhao Wei, and Yin Tse
Director: Stephen Chow
Rating: Nine of Ten Stars

A soccer coach (Ng) seeking revenge on the rival who ruined his career (Tse), and a martial arts student wanting to revive public interest in Kung Fu (Chow) join forces to create a team that consisting of misfits and martial artists. The sport of soccer will never be the same!

"Shaolin Soccer" is a wild comedy that takes the standard elements of traditional martial arts movies and legends and the standard elements of sports movies and combines them in hilarious and unexpected ways. Toss in lots of clever CGI, and you've got one of the funniest movies ever released.

From the main characters meet, you'll be watching this film with a smile on your face. That smile will get broader when the sweetbun-making Kung Fu master and love interest played by Zhao Wei is introduced into the story. You'll be laughing out loud over the goalie who's a spitting image of Bruce Lee, you'll giggle at the bizarre all-women soccer team Team Mustache (led in hilarious fashion by Karen Mok), and you'll try to cheer on Team Shoalin Soccer as they take on Team Evil for the championship... although you'll probably be too busy laughing at the bizarre on-field antics when battle auras mingle with passes and penalty kicks.

Lovers of manga artist Rumiko Takahashi's "Ranma 1/2" absolutely must see this movie. It does for soccer what she did for ice skating and gymnastics. Lovers of films like "Croaching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" should also seek this film out, because I think you'll get a big kick out of the Kung Fu comedy in it. "Shaolin Soccer" is a sweet, silly, romantic "underdogs do good" tale that I think is a must-see.

(By the way, the DVD version I screened contains both the original Chinese edit of film and the version that was released in theaters in America. You should watch the Chinese version, as it is superior. There are some key character-establishing elements that have been cut from the American version, and they messed with the soundtrack. The orchestra score playing over the film's final scene is far more effective than the lame remake of "Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting" that is heard in the U.S. version. The Nine-Star rating here is for the Chinese version. The U.S. edit rates Eight Stars.)

Frank Frazetta dead at 82

Painter and illustrator Frank Frazetta passed away today after suffering a stroke. Another great artist as left us. Here are some of his artwork, featuring characters you probably know.

Talent show final may turn out to be a bomb

American Dreamz (2006)
Starring: Hugh Grant, Sam Golzari, Dennis Quaid, Mandy Moore, Tony Yalda, Willem DeFoe, and Chris Klein
Director: Paul Weitz
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Hit talent-show 'American Dreamz' builds toward its greatest season finale ever, as a blond-haired, cute Mid-western pop-singer (Moore) squares off against a musical loving Iraqi immigrant (Golzari) in a contest that will be judged not only by regular show-host Martin Tweed (Grant), but also by the President of the United States (Quaid). Nothing is as it seems, however, as the president is growing disinterested in the superficiality of American culture and instead wants to focus on real solutions, "America's sweetheart" is actually a sociopathic bitch, and the Iraqi immigrant is a wash-out from an al-Qaeda training camp who is being forced into becoming a suicide bomber in order to assassinate the president.

"American Dreamz" is part political satire, part lampoon of American culture (as well as a lampoon of Muslim militants). When it works, it presents likeable characters who the audience is almost immediately invested, and who are very, very funny; this goes even for the "bad guys." When it's not coming together, we're forced to sit through dull stretches of film featuring unlikable characters that aren't funny at all... pathetic and reprehensible, but not at all entertaining to watch.

The storylines with President Stanton, his wife and his Chief of Staff, the storyline with Iraqi Omer, his American relatives, and the al-Qaeda sleeper-cell... both these storylines are VERY funny, and in both cases the audience finds itself rooting for Stanton and Omer to stand by what they know if right, and to reject the destructive, self-centered hypocrites who are trying to manipulate them for their own ends. These are both storylines that will piss off extremists at both ends of the political spectrum, and it is a joy to watch them unfold and ultimately intersect.

Unfortunately, the hilarity of the Stanton and Omer storylines are counterbalanced by the dreary plotline involving show host Martin Tweed and a run-of-the-mill, self-absorbed, wanna-be starlet, Sally Kendoo. Both these characters are typical Hollywood stereotypes, and they have nothing to offer beyond that. There is nothing likeable about either character--other than perhaps both characters realize they are despicable and that they're okay with that and can even bond with each other over that fact--and there's nothing for the audience to latch onto and care about with them.

If there had been a little less Martin Tweed/Sally Kendoo, it would have been a far stronger film. Both characters are essential to the over all point of the movie--and one can't have an "American Idol" spoof without a Simon Cowell-type character--but a reduced presence would have been preferable.

Despite my dislike of certain aspects of the script and the characters presented, everyone in the cast did a decent job. Golzari and Quaid definitely stole the movie from everyone else, however. Not only did they have the best lines and scenes, but each actor played his character with great humor and charm.

Although not a perfect movie, it's better than other films that attempted to present similar material and messages, such as "Man of the Year" (which fails due to a weak script and bad casting) and "Silver City" (which was just plain bad). I particularly liked the upbeat finish to the film... it's "Hollywood Ending" for all the players was refreshing on one level, while serving as a spoof on the spoof on another. It was a very amusing close to a mostly amusing film.

Sunday, May 9, 2010 - Islam Becomes Taboo Topic

More and more, it's apparent that common citizens need to stand up to the Islamic terrorists. The news organizations and entertainment industry is more than happy to Submit to the Religion of Peace.

This needs to stop. They cannot be allowed to silence ANYONE. - Islam Becomes Taboo Topic on TV in Wake of 'South Park' Threats and Times Square Scare

Posted using ShareThis

Saturday, May 8, 2010

In the interest of fairness...

A person emailed me this link to promo for a movement intended to counter all us "haters" who are posting cartoons for Everybody Draw Muhammed Day.

I have a bit of news for the producers of that rather well-done little spot: The "haters" mobilized iIn February 1989 when Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini, Supreme Leader of Iran, issued a fatwa calling on all good Muslims to kill or help kill Salman Rushdie. And they've been on the march ever since.

You have met the enemy, oh you who idolize the Prophet Mohammed (may peat be upon him), and you are he. You and the terrorists you enable are the haters.

(And thanks to Tom for letting me know how to get videos to display correctly.)

Friday, May 7, 2010

The Nazis Quit Blogathon comes to an end

It was my intention to keep posting reviews of graphic novels and movies right up to this very day, the day where Nazi Germay surrendered once and for all to the Allies. But, scheduling weirdness with other projects and an unexpected (but very pleasant) development on my birthday--today--made it so virtually no Blogathon materials appeared this week.

I still have "Ogre," "Inglorious Basterds" and "SS Hell Camp" to post reviews of, and I never did get the wrap-up post done. However, Tom over at Motion Picture Gems did a far better wrap-up for my mini-blogathon than I could ever do.

Click here to read Tom's review of "Underground" and an image of one of the many front pages that carried the "Nazis Quit!" headline on May 7, 1945.

It's May 7th, so....

Reviews will be appearing throughout the day--including one of "Iron Man 2"--but you can also celebrate by getting a gift for yourself (or me--hehe) from my wish list. Or you can just watch movies all day!

I hope you have as good a day on my birthday I am planning to have!

(Oh... and today is ALSO the day that Nazi Germany submitted like the sorry creatures they were. Exactly 65 years ago today, the Germany military surrendered unconditionally to the Allies. A great day to be born on!)

Thursday, May 6, 2010

This is Terror Thursday!

Every review I post for the rest of today will be of a movie with the word "Terror" in the title. It's my way of reaching out and acknowledging the concerns of those who are worried that the upcoming Everybody Draw Mohammed Day might offend terrorists and those who enable and justify their psychotic, murderous activities and murderous actions.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

The Man-baby is back....

For the past few years, an emotionally stunted man-child by the name of Mbutu Mondondo Bienvenu has been in the news on and off, with his moronic lawsuit over racism in "Tintin in the Congo."

He's in the news again. With an expanded lawsuit.

With his criminal trail against the foundation that manages the creations of Belgian writer/artist Herge--they're a bunch of evil racists according to the deranged Bienvenu--going nowhere, he rounded up some race hustlers and ambulance chasers to bring a civil suit against the foundation AND European combic book mega-publisher Casterman, seeking to get the book yanked from stores.

Casterman has, in a polite fashion, told Man-baby and his attorneys were to stick their copies of "Tintin in the Congo," and so far seem like they're going to fight this bit of idiocy. Here's hoping they win (even if "Tintin in the Congo" is a one of the worst books in the series, with only "Tinin in the Land of Soviets" being worse.)

Click here to read more about this case. And look below for a picture of the Man-baby himself, posing with the eeeevilest of tomes!

(I wonder of Casterman and the Moulinsart foundation could sue Manbaby for misappropriating their trademarked and copyrighted materials? THAT would be hilarious!)

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Stay thirsty, my friends, with this review of a western featuring two Spanish Ladies who will undoubtedly be the subjects of future "Tectonic Tuesday" case studies.

Bandidas (2006)
Starring: Penelope Cruz, Salma Hayek, Steve Zahn, Dwight Yoakam, Sam Shepard, José María Negri, Denis Arndt, and Audra Blaser
Directors: Joachim Roenning and Espen Sandberg
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Two young Mexican women from wildly different backgrounds--one is a wealthy, European educated sophisticate (Hayek) and the other is a rough-and-tumble farm girl (Cruz)--team up with an American criminologist (Zahn) to stop a rogue agent of a major American bank (Yoakam) from driving poor famers from their land to make way for the railroad.

"Bandidas" is an action/comedy heist movie set in the late 1800s. It's about as predictable as it could possible be (with one tiny little twist toward the end that I didn't see coming), but it is so breezy and fun, and its two very attractive leads are so charming and sexy that it really doesn't matter. Penelope Cruz's performances is especially fun, and Salma Hayek's cleavage is always a welcome sight.

This is probably one of the better, completely forgettable eye-candy movies I've seen. It was a fun way to spend an hour-and-a-half, and I'm surprised this movie never saw a wide North American release; it's got some plot elements that could be construed as anti-American, but it's far better than some of blatantly political and America-hating crap that was in movie theaters around the time it was made. (Or maybe that's why it didn't see wider release. It wasn't anti-American enough.)

If you like light-hearted westerns that feature explosions, train robberies, and darkhaired beauties in cleavage-revealing tops, this is a film that's worth a look.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

May 20th IS the first annual
'Everybody Draw Mohammed Day'

In this post, I reported briefly on Molly Norris and her joke that got taken very seriously by a good number of people who are disturbed and angered by a group of violent psychopaths who want to force their idolatry of the Prophet Mohammed (peas be upon him) onto the rest of world, along with the oppression and suppression that goes along with it.

As I said in that post, it was clear to me that Norris was joking from the get-go and that she was simply drawing a silly cartoon that no more depicted Mohammad than Matt Stone and Trey Parker had on "South Park" earlier that week.

Norris' mistake was to invent a fictitious "Everybody Draw Mohammed Day" as part of her gag. She apparently was unaware of the level of frustrating and anger that exists over the fascist terrorists who are the public face of the "Religion of Peace." She did not see that her gag could be seized upon as a way for the voiceless to speak out.

Norris disavows any involvement in any real "Everybody Draw Mohammed Day," as she continues to say over and over with cartoons on her website (visit it here). That is a shame, but it is her right to be cowed and to apologize for speaking the truth, even if I hope I never end up like that.

But, DESPITE what Norris would wish, DESPITE what Islamo-fascists would wish, DESPITE what I said in my original post on this topic, "Everybody Draw Mohammed Day" is becoming a reality. And this is a good thing.

Everyday common citizens are standing up to these thugs, because it's increasingly clear that major media outlets and even our governments will not do so.

On May 20th, I will take part in "Everybody Draw Muhammed Day." I will be posting original cartoons here and at "Shades of Gray." It's been at least a decade since I've put pen-to-paper in this fashion, so they won't be very good (and probably not all that funny), but at least they will be here. If you want to take part, I will happily post cartoons you create, or you can send them to these sites that are also dedicated to make what started as a joke a reality:

Everybody Draw Mohammad

Citizens Against Citizens Against Humor

Draw Muhammad Day 2010!

Freedom of expression has been under assault from these mentally diseased people since at least 1989 when the senile (or possibly syphilis-ridden) Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini, Supreme Leader of Iran, issued a fatwa calling on all good Muslims to kill author Salman Rushdie and his publishers for the novel "The Satanic Verses." (You can read about that incident and the murders committed by the worshippers of Muhammed [may pits be upon him]here. You can also read about the REAL Satanic Verses here.)

The crazed cultists were not quite as visible back in those days, but even then they issued death threats. I got one myself, and I cherish it as a badge of honor to this day. When the government of Iran upped their bounty on Rushdie (issued in conjunction with Khomeini's fatwa, because apparently Good Muslims need millions of dollars to contemplate committing murder), I wrote a column for a paper on the topic that was similar in tone to the Mad Muslim posts you find around here. A Good Muslim wrote in that she had seen me crossing the street the day the column ran and that she had thought about running me over with her car for insulting the Holy Men of Islam and the Good Muslims who heed their words. An apology was demanded by her and many other letter writers. None was given, except in a very sarcastic follow-up column.

I didn't give an inch to Muslim psychos and bullies then. If put in the same position today, I wouldn't give an inch now. (Of course, my columns would probably never even have been printed today.)

Twenty years hence, the efforts to silence speech they don't agree with continue on the part of the Cult of the Prophet Muhammed (piss be upon him) are more virulent and violent than ever. Every unwarranted apology and every attempt to show them respect only emboldens them and makes them demand more concessions and silence from those they don't agree with. They are now issuing death threats for NOT showing images of their idol, as we saw a couple weeks back with Trey Parker and Matt Stone's "South Park."

"Everybody Draw Muhammed Day" is a must. I hope everyone reading this will participate.

If you want to post your cartoon here, send it to me by May 19 as a jpg attachment to (You can also send it to any of the sites linked above... or perhaps even post it to you your own site. But I and the others can protect your anonymity of you fear for your safety....)

Tectonic Tuesdays: Jennifer Love Hewitt

In an effort to save innocent people all over the world, the "Tectonic Tuesday" series is devoted to providing supporting evidence for the divinely inspired claim made by Iranian holy man and modern-day prophet Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi. It is he who said: "Many women who do not dress modestly [...] spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes."

Third Case Study: Jennifer Love Hewitt

A child actress who grew up to wear revealing outfits on screen and outfits that reveal even more in magazine pictorials, Jennifer Love Hewitt became a danger to the world starting in when she and her breasts starred in the slasher flick "I Know What You Did Last Summer". The year was 1997, and in October (the same month the film was relased) central Chile and an earthquake and tsunami devastated Shikotan Island off the eastern coast of Russia.

In 2001, Hewitt played a slutty con-artist in "Heartbreakers," and the display of her cleavage on screens around the world caused the earth to shudder in American Northwest and the southern part of Peru. And since 2005, when she returned to series television to play a woman with a love of lowcut tops and the ability to speak to the dead in "Ghost Whisperer," there have been at least four major earthquakes every year! As if more evidence was needed, when Hewitt's latest photo-spread appeared in the May 2009 issue of Maxim magazine, Los Angeles was struck by an earthquake.

And all because of the immodesty of Jennifer Love Hewitt.

(This woman is SO nefarious that she's also been featured in my "Saturday Scream Queen" series at Terror Titans. To see more of this weapon of mass-destruction, click here.)