Views & Reviews From Writer Steve Miller
Formerly Reviews and Stuff at Rotten Tomatoes, 2005 - 2009.

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Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Barack Obama: Ghost Whisperer!

Should Barack Obama adopt the campaign slogan, "I see dead people"? A Memorial Day speech he gave in Las Cruces, New Mexico seems to indicate he should.

Obama opened his speech with this sentence: "On this Memorial Day, as our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes -- and I see many of them in the audience here today -- our sense of patriotism is particularly strong."

He later says, "I speak with you today with great humility. My grandfather marched in Patton's Army, but I cannot know what it's like to walk into battle like so many of you."

Just in case you are prone to think this is Rush Limbaugh-generated hooey, see and listen for yourself:

Memorial Day is when Americans remember and honor soldiers who have died defending the United States and its values. Was Obama addressing the spirits of the dead in attendance? Can he see dead people? If elected, will he not only be the first Black President but also the first Ghost Whisperer president?

It's long been said that the dead are an important part of the electorate in Chicago--they often turn out in numbers equal to or greater than the living--but could it be that the dead are ACTUALLY VOTING?! Can it be that all Chicago-based policitians have the ability to see dead people because they have to pander to them as well as the living?

Sharon Stone and Wire Service Writers:
Dumb and Dumber?

As I mentioned yesterday, Sharon Stone opened her mouth and something very, very stupid about how the massive earthquakes that may have killed tens of thousands of people in China was caused by national "bad karma" came out.

On Wednesday, China's largest chain of movie theaters swore to never again show a film featured her on any of their screens. Strangely, this was characterized in wire story headlines and body copy as a "boycott". I wonder why THAT is a boycott, yet major theater chains in the United States decided to drop Uwe Boll's"Postal" at the last minute was a "business decision."

Today, Thursday, the official mouthpiece of China's dictatorial government, the Xinhua News Agency, said in an editorial that Stone is the "public enemy of all mankind."

That statement is dumber than Stone's initial claim that the earthquakes (and the 70,000 or so dead bodies that followed) were the result of the bad karma resulting from the Chinese government "not being nice" to her buddy the Dali Lama of Tibet.

Stone is an idiot. She is not the "public enemy of all mankind." In fact, that honorific is far more suited to the Chinese government for their decades long abuses in Tibet, for their continued threats toward the people of Taiwan, and for their exporting of dangerous, poisonous trade goods to the rest of the world (not to mention the ecological impact the crappy job they do of regulating industry is having in China and worldwide).

It's one thing for an emptyheaded woman who makes her living speaking lines that are written for her by others to make stupid statements. It's something entirely different for supposedly educated journalists to do the same. Whoever wrote that editorial should feel very ashamed of themselves. And whoever characterized the Chinese cinema chain choosing not to show films with Stone as a "Chinese boycott" should feel almost as ashamed. Both are hyperbole of a magnitude that only someone as dimwitted as Sharon Stone should utter.

In happier news, Stone will probably focus on what she does best in the future--opening her legs--and leave political and spiritual commentary to those with brains in their heads. She's starting to see the consequences of shooting her mouth off.

French fashion house Christian Dior said Thursday it has dropped Sharon Stone from its Chinese ads. Dior is very, VERY eager to get its share of the growing Chinese luxury market, and they don't need Stone screwing it up for them.

The company also released a statement through its Shanghai office that has been described as an apology from Stone.

"Due to my inappropriate words and acts during the interview, I feel deeply sorry and sad about hurting Chinese people," Stone said in the statement. "I am willing to take part in the relief work of China's earthquake, and wholly devote myself to helping affected Chinese people."

Chinese Foreign Ministry spokesman Qin Gang said Thursday he had taken note of Stone's apology, commenting: "We hope that as an American actress she should contribute to our two peoples' mutual trust, understanding and friendship."

Given the level of idiocy in the wire services, I am obligated to point out that this "apology" is a non-apology.

In the Dior-issued (and probably Dior penned) statement, Stone does not retract the notion that 70,000+ people died because of national bad karma and the Chinese "not being nice" to the Daili Lama. Stone apologized for "hurting the Chinese people," but she didn't say that her initial statement was wrong!

The original bit of stupidity stands, and now we can add the declaration that Sharon Stone is the "public enemy of all mankind" to it.

Next up, someone will start screaming about Christian Dior trying to silence Stone and cover up Chinese abuses.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Sharon Stone should stick to opening her legs

Sharon Stone, an actress of moderate talent best known for flashing her snatch in "Basic Instinct", should stick to opening her legs. When she opens her mouth she reveals herself to the world as a complete idiot.

While talking to Chinese reporters yesterday, Stone blamed the massive earthquakes that struck China on "karma."

The bubble-headed bimbo was quoted in various outlets as saying, "All these earthquakes and stuff happened and I thought, 'Is that karma?' When you are not nice, bad things happen to you. I'm not happy about how the Chinese are treating the Tibetans, I don't think anyone should be unkind to anyone else. They're not being very nice to the Dali Lama, who's a good friend of mine."

So... all those Chinese workers and peasants who are likewise under the iron heel of China deserved to die and lose their homes because the Chinese government isn't very nice to the Dali Lama.

I wonder if Stone realizes she sounds like Muhammad Yousef Al-Mlaifi, a Kuwaiti fucktard of the highest order, who said Hurricane Katrina was "a wind of torment and evil that Allah has sent to this American empire," something for which he praised Allah. (Actually, it's an insult to the Mad Arab Al-Mlaifi to say that Stone sounds like him... he sounds far more intelligent and literate than she does.)

Sharon Stone, about to do the thing she's good at

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Naomi Campbell; 'I'm a bitch, not a witch.'

It must be a slow time in Tabloidland at the moment if they're desperate enough to fill column space they're making up stories about Naomi Campbell casting curses and doing voodoo dances by moonlight (or whatever it is they do in the Candomble faith).

Naomi Campbell denies switching religions 
Naomi Campbell has quashed reports she has signed up to a witchcraft-like religion - insisting she was only linked to the faith by association.
   Last weekend, news reports claimed the supermodel was joining Brazil's African-based Candomble faith, but Campbell is adamant she has no interest in switching her religious allegiances.
   She tells the New York Daily News, "I'm Church Of England. Protestant. I was christened that. I went to a party for a guy whose birthday it was (Candomble priest Tuca Franchini). I don't discriminate against what religion people have. That's what he (Franchini) does, but it doesn't mean I have to be involved in it." 

Monday, May 19, 2008

Uwe Boll's 'Postal' dropped by big chains

Uwe Boll is a loudmouth filmmaker who by all accounts has a track record of producing crappy movies. Based on what I've seen, I don't think his work is as bad as some portray it--as I've said in the past, anyone who calls Uwe Boll the "worst filmmaker ever" hasn't seen enough movies--but there's no question that Boll has a higher opinion of his own work than his output seems to warrant.

Boll's latest film, "Postal", was slated to open this Wednesday in theaters, but it has now reportedlly been dropped by major distributors.

"Postal" was slated to open on 1,500 screens (including at the theater I tend to see movies at) and now it reportedly will open only in 4. Boll, of course, was quick to claim that "distributors are boycotting 'Postal' because of its political content" and given that the film apparently mocks Muslim terrorists and American Christian teleevangelists and poticians in equal amounts, he may be right.

"Postal" was the first Uwe Boll film that seemed interesting enough to me to warrant a trip to the multiplex. I was actually priotising it for viewing and reviewing above "Indiana Jones and the Empire of the Crystal Skull" because I was assuming it would be gone in an instant and because the title is so much shorter and easier to type. I'm dissapointed that I won't be able to check it out, but will now instead have to wait until the DVD comes along.

(I've already seen one commenter claim that Boll's film was dropped because theaters didn't want to show a film by someone who consistently turns out crappy movies that flop. If that is the only reason for dropping "Postal", then how does that explain a new Brian De Palma film stinking up movie houses every few years? Perhaps it has more to do with De Palma sucking as a director while also sucking certain parts of the male anatomy of movie industry big-wigs and thus having big studio clout behind his cinematic bowel movements? Insights are welcomed.)