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Formerly Reviews and Stuff at Rotten Tomatoes, 2005 - 2009.

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Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Tectonic Tuesday: Samantha Mumba

Proving that Prophets still walk among us, the Imam of imams Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi shared this divinely inspired reality with us mere mortals: "Many women who do not dress modestly [...] spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes."

And here's more proof that he's right.

Tenth Case Study: Samantha Mumba

Born in Dublin to an Irish mother and a father who immigrated to Ireland from Zambia, Samantha Mumba enjoyed tremendous success during the years of 2000-2002 as one of world's most popular female pop singers. With an album that went Platinum and several very popular videos where she danced and sang and otherwise put herself on display, she was certainly the cause of the Gujarat earthquake in January of 2001.

As her music career began to falter, Mumba turned to acting. She appeared in a number of Irish indie films, as well as 2002's big-budget sci-fi flick "The Time Machine."

In 2002, Mumba was voted one of the 100 Sexiest Women in the World by the readers of FHM, and the adultery that spread in society led directly to earthquakes in Iran, off the coast of the Peru, and in the United States in June of that year.

With her show business career in the doldrums during the latter half of the decade just gone by, and her activities mostly limited to reality shows on British and Irish television, Mumba's threat to the world has been minimal. However, she will be appearing in as many as three movies slated for release this year or next, including the supernatural action thriller "Cross" and the ghost movie "Loftus Hall". Only time will tell what happens then... but those who believe in the divinely inspired wisdom of Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi are fairly certain they know what the results will be. And they're buying earthquake insurance!

6 comments:

  1. I think I'm feeling a tremor right now.

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  2. I liked her in Boy Eats Girl (probably not what you think) and of course, The Time Machine. I'm glad we're going to see more of her.

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  3. she is the scum of the earth she is god damn turrible there is no earthquakes in and about her, her father is a nigglet and that is why she is not remotely famous now i hope she and her family dies. praise allah!

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  4. Anonimous: That's not very nice. Did her Dad beat you at darts or something? Or maybe she turned you down for a date in the 8th grade?

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