Views & Reviews From Writer Steve Miller
Formerly Reviews and Stuff at Rotten Tomatoes, 2005 - 2009.

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Friday, February 18, 2011

Maybe Oliver Stone was right?

Last year, director and brave anti-Zionist crusader and conspiracy theorist Oliver Stone put forward the theory that Adolf Hitler had been unfairly scapegoated by nefarious villains. Stone promised to show the world the Truth about Hitler and how he could not be judged as "bad" once the full context of his life and actions were known.

With the recent re-discovery of two Hitler-commissioned movie musicals that were thought lost, perhaps Stone has been vindicated in his assessment of Hitler as not being such a bad guy.

Can it be that not only have nefarious Zionists been lying about the true and cuddly nature of Hitler and his Nazis, but that homophobic anti-Gay bigots have been distorting the truth as well?

How can a man who would commission a 3-D musical focused on plump, juicy sausages titled "So Real You Can Touch It" be anything but faaabulous? And then there's "Girls Roll Into the Weekend," a film which probably puts even the greatest Liza Minnelli concerts to shame.

Hopefully, Oliver Stone will use part of his his "Secret History" episode unveiling the True Hitler to cement the Mustachioed One as the trailblazing gay icon he truly was.

In fact, I see a whole new series of "Secret History" specials in this, one tracing the line of maligned homosexuals from Alexander the Great through Adolf Hitler to Yassir Arafat and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad! Someone get Stone's agent on the phone! He also needs to secure the rights to "So Real You Can Touch It" so he can reissue them to movie theaters and bring Hitler's homo-erotic visions to the 21st century via cutting-edge 3D technology!

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