Naomi Campbell; 'I'm a bitch, not a witch.'

It must be a slow time in Tabloidland at the moment if they're desperate enough to fill column space they're making up stories about Naomi Campbell casting curses and doing voodoo dances by moonlight (or whatever it is they do in the Candomble faith).

Naomi Campbell denies switching religions 
Naomi Campbell has quashed reports she has signed up to a witchcraft-like religion - insisting she was only linked to the faith by association.
   Last weekend, news reports claimed the supermodel was joining Brazil's African-based Candomble faith, but Campbell is adamant she has no interest in switching her religious allegiances.
   She tells the New York Daily News, "I'm Church Of England. Protestant. I was christened that. I went to a party for a guy whose birthday it was (Candomble priest Tuca Franchini). I don't discriminate against what religion people have. That's what he (Franchini) does, but it doesn't mean I have to be involved in it." 

Uwe Boll's 'Postal' dropped by big chains

Uwe Boll is a loudmouth filmmaker who by all accounts has a track record of producing crappy movies. Based on what I've seen, I don't think his work is as bad as some portray it--as I've said in the past, anyone who calls Uwe Boll the "worst filmmaker ever" hasn't seen enough movies--but there's no question that Boll has a higher opinion of his own work than his output seems to warrant.

Boll's latest film, "Postal", was slated to open this Wednesday in theaters, but it has now reportedlly been dropped by major distributors.

"Postal" was slated to open on 1,500 screens (including at the theater I tend to see movies at) and now it reportedly will open only in 4. Boll, of course, was quick to claim that "distributors are boycotting 'Postal' because of its political content" and given that the film apparently mocks Muslim terrorists and American Christian teleevangelists and poticians in equal amounts, he may be right.

"Postal" was the first Uwe Boll film that seemed interesting enough to me to warrant a trip to the multiplex. I was actually priotising it for viewing and reviewing above "Indiana Jones and the Empire of the Crystal Skull" because I was assuming it would be gone in an instant and because the title is so much shorter and easier to type. I'm dissapointed that I won't be able to check it out, but will now instead have to wait until the DVD comes along.

(I've already seen one commenter claim that Boll's film was dropped because theaters didn't want to show a film by someone who consistently turns out crappy movies that flop. If that is the only reason for dropping "Postal", then how does that explain a new Brian De Palma film stinking up movie houses every few years? Perhaps it has more to do with De Palma sucking as a director while also sucking certain parts of the male anatomy of movie industry big-wigs and thus having big studio clout behind his cinematic bowel movements? Insights are welcomed.)

'Dead Aim' is worth setting sights on

Dead Aim (1975)
Starrng: James Westerfield, Glen Lee, Venetia Vianello, Virgil Frye and Evaristo Marquez
Director: Jose Bolanos
Steve's Rating: Six of Ten Stars

The lives of three very different groups of people--a government employed undertaker (Westerfield) and his adopted son (Lee), a former prostitute (Vianello) and her sociopathic lover (Frye) and an unlucky Army deserter (Marquez) intersect in a barren desert at the height of the American Civil War.


"Dead Aim" is a bleak western that features gorgeous cinematography, interesting performances by all the principles, and a storyline comprised of two different plots that criss-cross as the movie unfolds but that are mostly so disconnected that the film borders on an anthology. However, the tales are linked thematically and by the fact that the two most decent characters in the film--the undertaker's son and the Army deserter--both fall in love with the only beautiful thing in the movie, the former prostitute.

This is an interesting film that is permeated with a unique atmosphere and style. In fact, it presents a world that seems to operate on its own rules, so viewers might have to suspend their disbelief and just go with the flow at times. However, it's also a film that will hold your attention, because, while there isn't a whole lot of action, you will want to see what strange turn the movie takes next, and you will be interested in knowing where it's all heading.

"Dead Aim" is an undeservedly obscure Mexican-produced western, and its presence in the "Mean Guns" set adds great value to an already low-priced DVD 20-movie pack.

Misheard lyrics of 'Numa-Numa-Ney'

There's a Romanian techno song that's taken YouTube by storm. Here are a couple homemade videos where posters tried to make sense of the lyrics in English. Both are hilarious.





And here's an earnest translation of the song.

Hi-tech vs superior numbers: Who wins?

Zulu (1964)
Starring: Patrick Magee, Jack Hawkins, Michael Caine, and Stanley Baker
Director: Cy Endfield
Steve's Rating: Ten of Ten Stars

In 1879, the British thought the Zulu Nation was no match for the modern weaponry of the greatest military force on Earth. When a massive Zulu army descended upon the lonely, lightly defended outpost at Roark's Drift, that theory will be put to the test.


"Zulu" has been touted as one of the greatest war movies ever made, and it lives up to that reputatation. From the early, tense scenes--as the British soldiers stationed at Roark's Drift start to recognize that the Zulu forces are massing--through the harrowing battle scenes that make up the bulk of the film, "Zulu" is perfectly paced and crafted. It features great acting, particularly from Michael Caine who gives one of his earliest and still his best screen performance, excellent camerawork, and a well-deployed musical score. The film is particularly impressive in the way it shows the strengths and weaknesses of both sides of this real-life, history-making battle.

The movie is so well made that eventhough I knew the historical events the movie portrayed, I became so engrossed in it that I soon forgot I already knew the ending. "Zulu" is one of those rare and truly excellent movies that draws the viewer completely in.

Kids' TV industry skewered in dark comedy

Death to Smoochy (2002)
Starring: Edward Norton and Robin Williams
Director: Danny Devito
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars


After kid's show superstar Rainbow Randolph (Williams) is disgraced in a bribery scandal, an idealistic young performer, Sheldon Mopes (Norton) and his trademark character of Smoochy the Purple Dinosaur are tapped by the network to fill Randolph's timeslot. An instant hit, Sheldon is soon faced with the choice of abandonining his dreams of entertaining and educating kids in a wholesome fashion for crass commercialism, or standing by his principles and taking on the kid's entertainment industry... a shadow-filled world that makes a Mafia Made Man summit look like a Boy Scout jamboree. And will he survive the insane attempts at revenge launched at him by an increasingly deranged Randolph?


"Death to Smoochy" is a dark comedy with some truly hilarious moments, with a cast of characters that grow ever more bizarre as the film progresses and we learn more about them. Williams in particular shines as the thoroughly corrupt and repulsive Rainbow Randolph, and Norton is also great as the idealistic-but-never-foolish Sheldon. The supporting cast (led by Danny Devito, Jon Stewart, and Harvey Fierstein) are all excellent in their parts.

Dewey Cox Rocks!

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story (2007)
Starring: John C. Reilly, Jenna Fischer, Tim Meadows, Chris Parnell, Matt Besser, David Krumholz, Raymond J. Barry, and Kristen Wiig
Director: Jake Kasdan
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

"Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story" is a broad spoof of rock star biopics that chronicles the career and life, times and personal struggles of legendary singer/songwriter/guitarist Dewey Cox, from his humble beginnings in Arkansas and the tragedy that set him on his path to stardom; his tough early years with his first wife; his rise to superstardom and how Elvis once was his opening act; his struggle with drug addiction (and how he once dropped acid with the Beatles in India); and how late in life he discovered the joy of family and bonded with the 35 or so children he'd fathered during his six decades in the music business, and ended his career back at the top of fame.


As is fitting for a send-up of films like "Walk the Line", "Ray", and "The Doors", the comedic heart of this movie is the wonderful songs. Just as the film paradies moves, so does the music poke fun at popular music throughout the second half of the 20th century. The songs are so well done that if you're not paying attention, you might think they're real hits from the time period they supposedly date from. Particularly funny is a double-entendre laden 1950s-style rock duet titled "Let's Duet", a 1960s protest song expressing solidarity with midgets titled "Let Me Hold You (Little Man)--a song that had me laughing so hard I missed several of the jokes that followed--and a send-up of Bob Dylan's rambling free-form songs.

Aside from a great line-up of funny songs, "Walk Hard" boasts some very funny performances from the entire cast, but star John C. Reilly (who sings and acts his heart out in every scene of the movie) and Tim Meadows (who plays his long-time drummer and friend who gets Dewey hooked on every conceivable drug) stand out in particular. Jack Black and Paul Rudd also has a very funny cameos as Paul McCartney and John Lennon.

The excellent performances grow from a well-done script that offers up humor ranging from screamingly obvious to so subtle you might miss it if you're not paying attention. The story arc of Dewey first coming unglued and then coming to terms with the fact he cut his brother in half with a machete runs through nearly the entire film, but it rears its head in several almost invisible ways, but if you spot them, you discover that this seemingly very simple, somewhat goofy spoof has some very intelligent aspects to it.

If you have a sense of humor and if you enjoyed movies like "Wake the Line" and "The Doors", you'll get a charge out of "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story". You'll like it twice as much if you enjoyed "This is Spinal Tap".