12,000 to lose their jobs, assholes celebrate

I've heard several people commenting on the fact that Starbucks will be closing some 600 stores with glee in their voices. Somehow, they think this is a good thing. Some believe it will result in little indie cafes opening up (which never happens in Reality... when a coffee shop closes around here, nothing seems to take its place) and others are just assholes who seem to take delight in the fact that people will be losing their livelihoods.

I tend to zip through a Starbucks drive-thru about a week. There is a little coffee shop I prefer that gives me my mochas for less than half of what Starbucks charges, so I go there more because of purely financial reasons. However, Starbucks does generally taste better, although it depends on the barista. (Although, more and more they're both losing out on my money, as I'm making huge pots at home, dumping fat-free vanilla creamer in my cups, and saving lots of cash.)

But I sure as hell am not deriving any pleasure from the news that people are losing their jobs. No one ever forced me to go Starbucks and pay $4+ for a cup of coffee or $3 for a breakfast sandwich (which was quite tasty BTW).

I truly can't relate to some of my friends, nor to the dimwits quoted in this article from Reuters. I can't derive pleasure from people losing their jobs. (Well, with some exceptions. I'd celebrate if Melinda Vigliotti of New York lost her job.)

Some coffee drinkers gleeful over Starbucks financial troubles
By Ellen Wulfhorst

NEW YORK (Reuters) - One coffee drinker's bad news is another coffee drinker's good news, it seems.

Financial woes at Starbucks Corp., which is planning to close 600 underperforming U.S. stores and lay off 12,000 employees, is evoking glee and little sympathy from aficionados who say they resent the coffee shop giant and favor small independent cafes.

"I'm so happy. I'm so not a Starbucks person," said Melinda Vigliotti, sipping iced coffee at the Irving Farm Coffee House in New York. "I believe in supporting small businesses. Starbucks, bye-bye."

Seattle-based Starbucks burst onto the national scene in the 1990s and grew to more than 6,000 locations around the world. But with cups of coffee that can cost several dollars, it faces a slowing economy and slowed consumer spending.

"Starbucks has really created a coffee culture, raising awareness of good coffee, which is good for independents," said Carol Watson, owner of the Milk and Honey coffee shop in Chicago. "But on the other hand, they're on practically every corner, and that makes it tough on the little guy too."

In Birmingham, Alabama, retiree Peggy Bonfield, drinking coffee at the Crestwood Coffee Shop, said: "When a Starbucks closes, it makes room for a local business to start. I consider that good news."

The schadenfreude of coffee drinkers drawing satisfaction from another's misfortune is part of the popular culture that enjoys the downfall of companies or celebrities, said Jim Carroll, a Canadian-based trends and innovation expert.

"There are a lot of people out there who take delight in seeing an icon torn down by the masses," he said.

Starbucks fell victim to a rapid change in attitude, fueled by Internet bloggers complaining endlessly about everything from layoffs to its breakfast sandwiches, he said.

"Starbucks was a cool brand, and then all of a sudden it's not a cool brand," he said. "There's this new global consciousness that is out there that can suddenly shift."

New York Web designer Zachary Thacher, who favors Greenwich Village's cafes, said he avoids Starbucks. "They've commoditized cafe culture, which is why I don't go," he said.

But it's not as though Starbucks doesn't have defenders.

"It's convenient," said Anthony Castro, sitting in a Starbucks near his job at New York's Museum of Modern Art. "I know what to expect."

In Birmingham, Crestwood regular Gary Adkins said he felt Starbucks gave employees good salaries and benefits.

Not everyone felt strongly. "It's just coffee," said Marc Poulin, a systems administrator at Zibetto Espresso Bar in New York. "If I was an investor, I'd care."

(Additional reporting by Tim Gaynor, Andrew Stern and Verna Gates; editing by Todd Eastham and Steve Miller)

Cartoon so good you'll forget it's a cartoon

WALL-E (2008)
Starring (the voices/sound effects of): Jeff Garlin, Ben Burtt, Elissa Knight, Fred Willard, John Ratzenberger, Kathy Najimy, and Sigourney Weaver
Director: Andrew Stanton
Rating: Ten of Ten Stars

Centuries after humankind has abandoned Earth for a spent garbage dump, the last of a one-time army of robots that had been unleashed as part of a clean-up attempt is happily toiling away. He repairs himself when needed, and he amuses himself with his friend the cockroach and by listening to songs from his favorite musical. But, one day, something strange drops from the sky, bringing with it another robot and WALL-E's existence is changed forever... and he becomes the catalyst for the very rebirth of humanity.


"WALL-E" is a supremely cute animated film about robots finding love and humanity gaining a second chance through it. If you've seen the previews, all you know is that WALL-E is cute... the story is completely unrevealed. And it's a doozy of a story! Action! Romance! Laserbeams! Robot rebellion! Corporate greed and corpporate responsibility! This movie has something for everyone and it's a film the entire family can go see together.

I've heard a lot of talk about the film's environmental message. Yes, it's there, but it's a sensible one. This is not a Church of Al Gore propaganda piece with cute robots... it's a well-crafted, genuine piece of art. Anyone who wants to drag politics into this film is an idiot, plain and simple.

I don't want to talk too much about the story, because watching it unfold and discovering the secrets hidden within the grand spaceship Axiom is part of what makes the film such a joy. I will, however, state that it should be impossible for anyone to give this movie a bad review, because there are few films that will draw you so completely into its world and accept its rules as real as this one. Even when, late in the film, they have a cartoon person and film footage of a real person side by side did the sense of reality created by the animation and the characters in this film break. (Okay, it probably helped that it's Fred Willard featured in the film clips... if there ever was a flesh-and-blood cartoon character, it's Fred Willard.)

I friend of mine mentioned that Walt Disney Pictures/Pixar are contemplating putting this movie forward for a Best Picture Ocsar nomination. I scoffed when he did, thinking to myself it was a dippy marketing move, another sign of how increasingly irrelevant the Oscars are as a watermark for excellence in movie making. However, his praise of "WALL-E" was so high that I decided to go see for myself.

You know, I think Walt Disney Pictures/Pixar ought to consider putting "WALL-E" forward for a Best Picture nomination for this year's Academy Awards. It is an excellent film on every level, and it's one that everyone should make the time to see. (And stay for the end credits... they're very nicely done.)

'Get Smart' is a great update of classic show

Get Smart (2008)
Starring: Steve Carrel, Anne Hathaway, Alan Arkin, Dwayne Johnson, Terence Stamp, Ken Davitian, and Dalip Singh
Director: Steven Segal
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

When the international crime syndicate and freelance spy-ring KAOS gains a complete roster of field agents working for the most secret branch of the United States intelligence services, CONTROL, the Chief (Arkin) promotes eager-beaver analyst Maxwell Smart (Carrel) to field agent. Together with the only other agent not compromised by KAOS, Agent 99 (Hathaway), he sets out to discover what notoriouls KOAS agent Seigfried (Stamp) intends to do with stolen radioactive materials.


"Get Smart" has received some early bad reviews, and I think this is one of those cases where some critics need to pull their heads out of their asses. This movie is an excellent update of the 1960s spy spoof that modernizes the characters and conflicts without feeling the need to denigrate and mock the original show (as was done in movies like "Starsky and Hutch") or all but ignore the original show, except for a little lip service ( as was done with the "Mission: Impossible" movies). This film takes all that was good about the TV series, even to the point where some of the spirit can stil be felt, and delivers it in a package that both those who love the old show and those who have never even heard of it can enjoy.

While I will grant the criticsm that the movie never gets quite as crazy as the TV show could be at its finest, and that only a few of the dialogue exchanges approach Mel Brooks and Buck Henry level writing (like the "if you were CONTROL you'd be dead" scene between Maxwell Smart and Seigfried, as featured in one of the previews), but the movie would have been a miserable failure if it had aped the old show. There is only one Mel Brooks and whenever writers try to copy him, they always fail spectacularly.

[center]
[i]Keeping America and the world safe for democracy:
Maxwell Smart (Steve Carell), Agent 99 (Anne Hathaway), Agent 23 (Dwayne Johnson) and The Chief (Alan Arkin)[/i][/center]

The actors portraying the various familiar characters are not attempting mimic those who have come before. Like Roger Moore didn't do a Sean Connery impersonation when he took over as James Bond, nor does Steve Carell do Don Adams when he plays Maxwell Smart. The character is obviously the same character, but the Carell gives his own spin on him. The same is true of Anne Hathaway as Agent 99 and Alan Arkin as The Chief. The characters are recreated, but still recognizable.

Another very smart move done by the film's creators (particularly score composer Trevor Rabin) was to retain the old "Get Smart" theme and weave it throughout the soundtrack music. They were smart to enough to recognize that the "Get Smart" theme by Irving Szathmary is one of the best pieces of television music ever written and that a "Get Smart" update wouldn't be complete without it. Just like the actors took the characters and reinvented them, so did Trevor Rabin take the spy music second only in fame to the "James Bond Theme" and make it his with a number of playful and thrilling variations as the movie unfolds. (The soundtrack music is [URL=http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0019H9WF2?ie=UTF8&tag=stevemillesdo-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B0019H9WF2]available from Amazon.com at a discount[/URL], and the disc contains several more of Rabin's variations on the theme that don't appear in the film but which are very creative and worthwhile. Even if you don't see the movie, the soundtrack is worth owning, because this fun music stands just fine on its own.

From the first teaser ad for the "Get Smart" film, I was looking forward to seeing it. As longer previews appeared, I started getting concerned that it was going to be another adaptation/update that was going to be intended more as an excersize in mocking the original show, or too mean-spirited to really capture the "Get Smart" feel. Thankfully, my fears were unfounded, and the film turned out to be a fun, breezy upate of the classic TV show... a laugh- and action-filled spy spoof that's well worth seeing. (It may not be perfect--there are a couple of instances I found myself thinking, "Waitaminnit... why isn't Smart reacting to that comment?" and "Why did the leap to THAT conclusion?"-- but the flaws are few and minor.)

Don't trust the critics who tell you this is a bad movie.

Osama bin Laden tries for a softer image

I don't know if Osama bin Laden is trying to show that he's really not such a bad guy, or if he's just trying to emphasize the queer part in al-Queerda.

Whatever his reason, he's partying harder than a high schooler after his first beer and a couple of Ecstasy tablets.



(Okay... for the humor impaired, I KNOW that's not Osama bin Laden in the video. But it's still funny as hell.)

Barack Obama: Ghost Whisperer!

Should Barack Obama adopt the campaign slogan, "I see dead people"? A Memorial Day speech he gave in Las Cruces, New Mexico seems to indicate he should.

Obama opened his speech with this sentence: "On this Memorial Day, as our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes -- and I see many of them in the audience here today -- our sense of patriotism is particularly strong."

He later says, "I speak with you today with great humility. My grandfather marched in Patton's Army, but I cannot know what it's like to walk into battle like so many of you."

Just in case you are prone to think this is Rush Limbaugh-generated hooey, see and listen for yourself:



Memorial Day is when Americans remember and honor soldiers who have died defending the United States and its values. Was Obama addressing the spirits of the dead in attendance? Can he see dead people? If elected, will he not only be the first Black President but also the first Ghost Whisperer president?

It's long been said that the dead are an important part of the electorate in Chicago--they often turn out in numbers equal to or greater than the living--but could it be that the dead are ACTUALLY VOTING?! Can it be that all Chicago-based policitians have the ability to see dead people because they have to pander to them as well as the living?

Sharon Stone and Wire Service Writers: Dumb and Dumber?

As I mentioned yesterday, Sharon Stone opened her mouth and something very, very stupid about how the massive earthquakes that may have killed tens of thousands of people in China was caused by national "bad karma" came out.

On Wednesday, China's largest chain of movie theaters swore to never again show a film featured her on any of their screens. Strangely, this was characterized in wire story headlines and body copy as a "boycott". I wonder why THAT is a boycott, yet major theater chains in the United States decided to drop Uwe Boll's"Postal" at the last minute was a "business decision."

Today, Thursday, the official mouthpiece of China's dictatorial government, the Xinhua News Agency, said in an editorial that Stone is the "public enemy of all mankind."

That statement is dumber than Stone's initial claim that the earthquakes (and the 70,000 or so dead bodies that followed) were the result of the bad karma resulting from the Chinese government "not being nice" to her buddy the Dali Lama of Tibet.

Stone is an idiot. She is not the "public enemy of all mankind." In fact, that honorific is far more suited to the Chinese government for their decades long abuses in Tibet, for their continued threats toward the people of Taiwan, and for their exporting of dangerous, poisonous trade goods to the rest of the world (not to mention the ecological impact the crappy job they do of regulating industry is having in China and worldwide).

It's one thing for an emptyheaded woman who makes her living speaking lines that are written for her by others to make stupid statements. It's something entirely different for supposedly educated journalists to do the same. Whoever wrote that editorial should feel very ashamed of themselves. And whoever characterized the Chinese cinema chain choosing not to show films with Stone as a "Chinese boycott" should feel almost as ashamed. Both are hyperbole of a magnitude that only someone as dimwitted as Sharon Stone should utter.

In happier news, Stone will probably focus on what she does best in the future--opening her legs--and leave political and spiritual commentary to those with brains in their heads. She's starting to see the consequences of shooting her mouth off.

French fashion house Christian Dior said Thursday it has dropped Sharon Stone from its Chinese ads. Dior is very, VERY eager to get its share of the growing Chinese luxury market, and they don't need Stone screwing it up for them.

The company also released a statement through its Shanghai office that has been described as an apology from Stone.

"Due to my inappropriate words and acts during the interview, I feel deeply sorry and sad about hurting Chinese people," Stone said in the statement. "I am willing to take part in the relief work of China's earthquake, and wholly devote myself to helping affected Chinese people."

Chinese Foreign Ministry spokesman Qin Gang said Thursday he had taken note of Stone's apology, commenting: "We hope that as an American actress she should contribute to our two peoples' mutual trust, understanding and friendship."

Given the level of idiocy in the wire services, I am obligated to point out that this "apology" is a non-apology.

In the Dior-issued (and probably Dior penned) statement, Stone does not retract the notion that 70,000+ people died because of national bad karma and the Chinese "not being nice" to the Daili Lama. Stone apologized for "hurting the Chinese people," but she didn't say that her initial statement was wrong!

The original bit of stupidity stands, and now we can add the declaration that Sharon Stone is the "public enemy of all mankind" to it.

Next up, someone will start screaming about Christian Dior trying to silence Stone and cover up Chinese abuses.

Sharon Stone should stick to opening her legs

Sharon Stone, an actress of moderate talent best known for flashing her snatch in "Basic Instinct", should stick to opening her legs. When she opens her mouth she reveals herself to the world as a complete idiot.

While talking to Chinese reporters yesterday, Stone blamed the massive earthquakes that struck China on "karma."

The bubble-headed bimbo was quoted in various outlets as saying, "All these earthquakes and stuff happened and I thought, 'Is that karma?' When you are not nice, bad things happen to you. I'm not happy about how the Chinese are treating the Tibetans, I don't think anyone should be unkind to anyone else. They're not being very nice to the Dali Lama, who's a good friend of mine."

So... all those Chinese workers and peasants who are likewise under the iron heel of China deserved to die and lose their homes because the Chinese government isn't very nice to the Dali Lama.

I wonder if Stone realizes she sounds like Muhammad Yousef Al-Mlaifi, a Kuwaiti fucktard of the highest order, who said Hurricane Katrina was "a wind of torment and evil that Allah has sent to this American empire," something for which he praised Allah. (Actually, it's an insult to the Mad Arab Al-Mlaifi to say that Stone sounds like him... he sounds far more intelligent and literate than she does.)

Sharon Stone, about to do the thing she's good at