'Let's Go to Prison' should be locked away

Let's Go to Prison (2006)
Starring: Dax Shepard, Will Arnett, Chi McBride, Dylan Baker, and David Koechner
Director: Bob Odenkirk
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

John (Shepard), a career criminal, plots to gain revenge against the judge who repeatedly sentenced him to prison by first getting Nelson (Arnett), the judge's obnoxious, self-important son sent to prison, and then arranging to have himself incarcerated with him. Although John's goal is to see the object of his hatred destroyed by the prison system and the violent inmates, his plan goes wrong at every turn.


"Let's Go to Prison" is a mostly misfired attempt at a comedy. It features good acting and provides a slew of mild chuckles, but in almost every case, the laughs could have been bigger if the scene had been better staged or if the script had been a bit tighter. In fact, there isn't a part of this film that didn't make me feel like it could have been improved if the script had been taken through an additional draft or two.

The fact this film kept flirting with full-blown farce but never crossed the line ended up harming it more than helping it. While part of me finds it interesting that the script could have been reshot as a "serious" and very scary thriller with only minor tweaks, this aspect also keeps it from being a decent comedy.

Tectonic Tuesday: Billie Piper

The great Imam Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi stated in April of 2010 that: "Many women who do not dress modestly ... spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes."

Sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? But no more ridiculous than the words of any other man who has chosen by God, Allah, or Odin to bring wisdom to those who need it. And here is the evidence to support Imam Slammy's divinely-inspired message to the world--that women wearing anything more revealing than black-out curtains are a danger to us all!

Eleventh Case Study: Billie Piper
Born in 1982, Billie Piper is the British equivilent of Britney Spears, but a little less slutty and quite a bit more talented. She was a sexy teenaged pop princess with four Top Ten hit singles between her 15th and 16th birthdays, thus threatening the safety of the world before she could even drive a car. And in 1998, California and Afghanistan were both rocked by earthquakes.


As Piper's music career began to fade, due to bad management and a worse marriage, she turned to acting, with her most celebrated role to date being that of playing Rose Tyler from 2005 to 2008 in the revived BBC science fiction television show "Doctor Who." Given that she plays a character who snogs at alien, it is in retrospect of no surprise that the ground trembled in southern Greece and the island of Java in 2006.

Piper's threat to the world briefly subsided when she gave birth to a child in 2008, but she eventually returned to acting, recording her final "Dr. Who" episodes, as well as appearing as a hooker in "The Secret Diary of a Call-Girl." Needless to say, she once again caused an earthquake to strike Java, with 57 people dying as a result.


And all because of the immodesty of Billie Piper.

'Draw Muhammad' artist placed on hit list

Remember "Everybody Draw Mohammed Day"? The world-wide event intended to stand up to psychotic Muslims who want to murder over cartoons? Well, Molly Norris, the lady whose rather harmless joke set the event in motion--and who then disavowed it and has done everything humanly possible to apologize to Muslims for even JOKING about drawing their false idol--is now under a death threat from Muslim terrorists. Read about the latest from the Relgion of Peace:

Comic Riffs - 'Draw Muhammad' artist placed on execution hit list

If there's anything that this Molly Norris news proves, it's that there is NEVER any reason to apologize to these psychos. The best course of action--the ONLY course of action--is to double-down and tell them to go fuck themselves.

And on that note....








For more cartoons featuring Mohammed, visit the Everyone Draw Mohammed blog. (BTW, don't go to what used to be Molly Norris' website. It has been replaced with a page that will try to download a virus to your computer.)

Harvey Pekar dead at 70

CLEVELAND — Harvey Pekar, whose autobiographical comic book series "American Splendor" portrayed his life with bone-dry honesty and wit, was found dead at home early Monday, authorities said. He was 70.

Pekar had been suffering from prostate cancer, asthma, high blood pressure, and depression.

For the full obit, click here.

Polanski free, Swiss reject US extradition request

Memo to child rapists: The Swiss love you!

Short version (via breitbart.com): Polanski free, Swiss reject US extradition request

Long version (via huffingtonpost.com): Roman Polanski Free: Extradition Request REJECTED By Switzerland

At the very least, the Swiss authorities share the belief of many Celebretards that raping children is A-Okay if you're famous, no matter what lame excuses the judge tries to hide behind. Yes... being a dork who goes on racist tirades makes you pariah and the object of hatred--as the example made of Mel Gibson over the weekend demonstrates--but raping children only ups your stature. After all, International Creative Management hasn't dropped Polanski as a client (and probably even took him on while during his current state as a fugitive from the United States justice system) while the William Morris Agency has dropped Gibson for being an idiot.

Well... I guess it's good that Woody Allen, Whoopie Goldberg, and their fellow travelers can breathe sighs of relief. Child rape--which one of them has openly claimed not to be "rape-rape"--is still something they can get away with.

Taliban makes war a monkey business

A Chinese news report claims that those shining examples of all that is Islam, the Lions of the Afghani Desert, are training and arming monkeys for use as soldiers.

No Dhimmitude: Taliban makes war a monkey business\

The article leaves me wondering: How are they telling the monkeys from the mullahs? Or maybe there's no real difference?

'Predators' completes its mission nicely

Predators (2010)
Starring: Adrian Brody, Alice Braga, Oleg Taktarov, Topher Grace, Mahershalalhashbaz Ali, Danny Trejo, Walton Goggins, and Lawrence Fishburne
Director: Nimrod Antal
Rating: Nine of Ten Stars

A disparate group of soldiers, mercenaries, and murderers--human predators all--are parachuted into a jungle where they must battle against alien big-game hunters for survival.


"Predators" is a movie that set out to return this venerable sci-fi action franchise to basics--after a decade of comic book and movie cross-overs with Fox's other killer alien property, the xenomorphic, acid-dripping Aliens. And it does a fantastic job of doing just that.

From the opening scene of Adrian Brody's character returning to consciousness while free-falling through sky, to the moment when the closing credits start to roll, this is a movie that never slows down. It's armed human killing machines versus aliens every bit as skilled in the art of killing as they are, but who have the advantage of superior tech and knowledge of the terrain. Unlike the original film and most of the three movie sequels and I-have-no-idea how many Dark Horse comic books (where the Predator aliens even fought Batman at one point), the hunt here takes place on the home-ground of the aliens, so the humans need every bit of skill they can muster.

As would be expected, there isn't much in the way of character development in the film. Our heroes start as military/action movie stereotypes and most of them die that way. The two main characters--played by Brody and Braga, a coldhearted mercenary and a IDF sniper/CIA operative respectively--are given a little more development than most others, but even they remain archetypal figures more than characters. A valid argument could be made that Braga's "character development" is nothing more than sexism, as it is her feminine sensitivity that puts her in grave danger at one point. (An equally good case could be made that she doesn't want to repeat what she considered a horrible moral error a second time. But whichever motivation you want to assign, both fail to move her much beyond the state of the most basic of character.

It doesn't matter in this movie, though. It's a movie about monsters attacking, guns blazing, and aliens getting their asses kicked (as well as aliens dishing out gory deaths when they get the better of their prey). And the film excels at this.

The screenwriters successfully brought the Predators back to their roots while giving the now-familiar set-up a fresh and unique twist. They also treat the audience to some very well-done action movie dialogue and battle scenes--which are brought to life with the aid of great camera work and editing, as well as excellent computer-generated monsters. The few bits of comic relief--mostly revolving around Topher Grace's character, who seems to be the only abductee who isn't a "human predator" but who's secret isn't as big a surprise as I suspect the filmmakers thought it would be--are well-timed and expertly delivered by the actors. They even managed to provide texture to the alien civilization, ensuring that hardcore fans of the series--who have been following all the spin-offs--will have a little something to enjoy, and newcomers might feel interested in checking out some of the comics and other movies.

Of course, the one thing lacking here is the horror element that was present in the first film, but the filmmakers wisely chose not to attempt to play on that angle. Back in 1987, the insertion of an alien big-game hunter into what looked like a straight-up action film was startling and viewers had no way of knowing how things would turn out. That one-time unknown creature is now firmly ingrained in pop culture, and the only mystery left for this picture is, basically, how are any survivors going to get back to Earth? (And this is another aspect the film deals with nicely.)

I think I can safely say that this film will go down as one of the best sci-fi and action films of 2010, with its non-stop action, great cast, and great effects. If you've enjoyed any of the previous films featuring the Predator aliens, or even any of the comics, you want to see this movie. It's also a worthy release for Fox to mark their 75th anniversary as a film studio with. It may not quite live up to the original film, but it's a fine piece of sci-fi entertainment.

(Click here to read my review of the original "Predator" at Terror Titans.)