Views & Reviews From Writer Steve Miller
Formerly Reviews and Stuff at Rotten Tomatoes, 2005 - 2009.

Currently Showing at Cinema Steve

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

For your edification (or "Who the f%ck builds a Stonehenge?!")

Ylvis... a pair of brothers from Norway have produced some videos for the hippy-hoppy slutty Hannah Montana generation. These songs are like School House Rock, only with more hip-hop and Autotune! (And even old folks with a sense of humor and an understanding of how songs are structured will get lots of enjoyment out of then. And perhaps even learn something.)

Sit back (if you can stay seated when these mad beats start pumping!

That last one seems like the craziest of the bunch--and it is--but it's not quite as insane as you might think. The second "what does the fox say" sound made me say, "what a sec!", so I did a Google search to check a faint memory of a very old nature show. And apparently someone else had the same reaction I did:

For the record, foxes are one of my favorite animals. I've found them fascinating since I was a kid. One of my favorite book was even about a kid who was from a family of werefoxes called "My Friend Giles" or "Pure Magic,"

Oh.... and then there's this...

The Brothers Ylves

Thursday, October 17, 2013

'Holy Safari' with O.J. Simpson, coming soon

Like Job, he's long suffering. Like Mohammed the Prophet, he's a bloody-handed murderer. Like Baby Jesus, he will be delivered unto the world in December... because that's when he gets out of prison for armed robbery and kidnapping.

I'm talking about O.J. Simpson -- and he is hoping to star in a new religious show called "Holy Safari," who, according to his publicist Norm Pardo, is perfect for a show like this.

"He’s always been religious inside [...],’ Mr. Pardo said. "He helps people who can't find their way."

Simpson's especially good at personally helping people on their way to Heaven.

If the promotional art is any indication, "Holy Safari" is going to be shockingly bad. *I* could have Photoshopped a better image. Hell, I make better promotional images on a regular basis for NUELOW Games if I do say so myself.

You can read all about Norm Pardo's fantasies regarding the future greatest wandering holy man since Jesus by clicking here. (For another display of cheap half-assedness, check out the web address where the promo page for the show can be found.)

There's also this article in the Daily Mail Online about O.J. Simpson's latest excursion into obnoxiousness. Does anyone but Norm Pardo actually think the Pope will grant an interview to a thug who got away with murder and who has shown no remorse whatsoever. One might even say that he has been the opposite of remorseful.

Then again, when one is a holy man--a Prophet even--one doesn't have to be remorseful.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Death Announcement:
Omar Hammami 1986 - 2013

Here's one American whose death at the hands of Islamic murderers that is worth celebrating. He was known as Omar Hamami, Abu Mansoor al-Ameriki, Baby Bear, and Sweet Cheeks by those who knew him best.

Omar Hammami and two close "friends" taking part in the internet craze of holding up signs.
Among those celebrating his passing are music fans, as his death means he won't be posting anymore crappy rap videos to Youtube.

He was an American member of the only Islamic group brave enough to wear the Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name (lest it get stoned to death) in its very name -- Al Shabaab. The only downside is that we'll never know if the argument was truly over who would be pitching vs. receiving.

He was shot dead by other Al Shabab members together with the lover and fellow killer for Allah, a British national known as Usama al Britani and Backdorr Tommy.

Click here to read more about the life and death of a scumbag at the Jihad news network, al-Jazeera.

(And if you're boycotting them, you can get the same good news at UK outlet The Guardian or America's own Huffington Post.)

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Happy Fourth of July!

By Robert E. Howard

Sing of my ancestors!
   Sing of them with pride!
Sing of fair America,
   Green prairies and blue tide!
One was born in County Cork!
   Hail the shamrock green!
(One was named Abraham
   Simeon Levine.)
One held rule in Dundee,
   Friend of the Montrose.
(One sold nuts and apples
   Where the river Tiber flows.)
One drank ale in Devonshire,
   One scaled Lomond's crags.
(One grew up in Warsaw
   And peddled clothes and rags.)
One sailed out from Liverpool,
   Bold and free and glad.
(One lended cash at high
   Rates in Petrograd.)
Och, oi, oi, and hoot mon!
   Gott sie dank go bragh!
Gevald! Be dommed! Diavoli!
   America iss braw!
Shure, its meself thot loves the land,
   Vy shouldn't I? Oi oi!
Some fellow he no lika diss,
   I'm nae you kind o' boy!
Its aiche mon for his ain, py hell!
   A feller got to stand
An' tella people who he iss
   And brag on his own land!
Vun nation unt vun langvitche!
   Oi! And go for business fine
To Michael Israel Malcolmsky
   Gammettio O'Stein.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Robert E. Howard: An Under-Appreciated Writer

On June 11, 1936, Robert E. Howard died at his own hand. While those who know his writings mourn for what the world lost when he pulled that trigger, he did leave us with a wealth of great short stories and poems.

If all you know Howard for is Conan and Solomon Kane, you don't know his work at all, but you are like the vast majority of the reading public. And I think this is a tremendous shame. Howard did much better writing in other genres and in other stories that few know exist and even fewer read.

I would like to change that. I hope that some day Howard gets moved from the footnote status of "created the sword-and-sorcery fantasy sub-genre through the character of Conan" to his rightful place among great American authors. As a small way of making that happen, I've put together several collections of his humor, horror, and historical stories--most of which are vastly superior to any Conan story he wrote. Get any of "Oriental Stories" books and you'll see what I mean.

"Oriental Tales Vol. 2" offers a broad cross-section of what his non-Conan writings are like, so it's a great place to start getting to know him better. An even better choice might be to get all of the "Oriental Stories" collections, as the stories in those are among the ones Howard would probably preferred to be remembered for.

Click here to visit DriveThruFiction,com to see a full listing of NUELOW Games's entire Robert E. Howard Collection. I hope you'll consider getting one or more of them.