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Formerly Reviews and Stuff at Rotten Tomatoes, 2005 - 2009.

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Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Tectonic Tuesdays: Jennifer Garner

Full of the sort of insight and wisdom that can only come from all-mighty Allah Himself, the Great Imam Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi revealed that "Many women who do not dress modestly [...] spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes."

Here's the next installment in the series of proofs that he's right.

Fifth Case Study: Jennifer Garner

Jennifer Garner had been appearing on movies and television shows for roughly five years when she emerged as a threat to the ground beneath your feet. From 2001 to 2005 she starred starred in the television series "Alias," where she not only appeared in skimpy outfits, but she played a woman spy who showed very little deference to male authority figures. And as a result, the world was rocked by the Nisqualli earthquake in the United States (2001) and the appropriately named, city-leveling Bam earthquake in Iran (2003).

In the 2003, Garner appeared in the comic book adaptation "Daredevil." She played Elektra, once again portraying a character who not only wore revealing outfits but who also did not respect her man. When she reprised her role as the star of the sequel, "Elektra", the result were the 2005 Kashmir and Sumatra earthquakes.

Note that in 2003 and 2005, Garner was showing herself in both a television series and in movies. The earth trembled as a result, bringing down buildings and ending lives.

All because of the immodesty of Jennifer Garner.

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