Views & Reviews From Writer Steve Miller
Formerly Reviews and Stuff at Rotten Tomatoes, 2005 - 2009.

Currently Showing at Cinema Steve

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Why do you make me suffer, oh Lord?!

I love McRib sammiches! They are the only thing I get from McDonald's on a regular basis... which means that I am only a regular customer of McDonald's for that all-too-brief period each year when their heavenly McRib sammich is available for purchase and consumption.

But this year, there will be no October/November McRib Runs for me. Because McDonald's isn't going to offer the McRib UNTIL LATE DECEMBER!

Why, God, do you make me suffer so?! Why do you deny me my McRib sammich?! Are the evil powers of corporate greed so strong that even You cannot prevent their wickedness?!

And it is only pure greed that is keeping the McRib sammich from making its annual appearance. After looking at ways to strengthen the fourth-quarter 2012 OPNAD calendar, McDonald's made the decision to move the sandwich promotion to the latter half of December. 

Where are the Occupy [Insert Random Location Here] goons?! Why aren't they storming McDonald's locations across the United States in response to this bare-faced example of the worst possible corporate green?! Where are the demands from Obama that McDonald's behave like responsible corporate citizens and give us our McRib sammiches?! Where is Harry Reid and his imaginary friend with demands that the McRib be acknowledged as a right rather than a privilege?! And why aren't the presidential challengers speaking out about this issue?! The first one to fight for the McRib By Election Day will get my vote!!

Give me McRib sammiches or give me death! (Actually, not getting McRib sammiches probably extends my life... but is a life without the McRib worth living? I think not!)

The heavenly McRib will return in time for Jesus's birthday!


  1. No riots in the Middle East, either.

  2. That's only because some insane imam or mad mullah hasn't told them to riot over the sammich that is an insult to Allah yet.