Views & Reviews From Writer Steve Miller
Formerly Reviews and Stuff at Rotten Tomatoes, 2005 - 2009.

Currently Showing at Cinema Steve

Saturday, December 20, 2014

The worst version of 'The Little Drummer Boy' ever recorded?

I've previously mentioned that one of my most favorite Christmas songs is "The Little Drummer Boy." Here's a modern arrangement I like very much that I posted during a previous Christmas.

And then there's this version by Justin Beiber. The the fact that it's by Justin Beiber made me expect it to be horrid, but I had no way of envisioning just how horrid.

The bizarre rap section in the middle makes me wonder if he (or anyone involved with producing it) had even the vaguest clue regarding the topic of the song. And even if one were to allow for a changing of meaning--that the baby referred to in the song isn't Jesus--it is still wildly inappropriate and out of place when the rest of the song is considered.

Maybe one has to be a Belieber to appreciate its genius?

Justin Bieber... does he hate Christmas or is he just stupid?

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Sony halts distribution of 'The Interview'

I wish I could say this surprised me, but it doesn't. This is pretty much the outcome I expected, even before Carmike Theaters became the pack-leader among the cowardly dipshits to refuse to show "The Interview."

According to Variety, Sony Pictures has pulled "The Interview" from distribution in a direct response to the threats of violence. Not only has the film been pulled from theatrical distribution, but plans for DVD and VoD releases have also been killed.

If anyone reading this thinks that's a Good Thing, you're an idiot--or worse.

Already, there are reports of other film projects with a similar subject being cancelled, such as the Steve Carell vehicle "Pyongyang" being cancelled by New Regency. And we won't hear about the films and books that wont' be produced because of pre-emptive, fearful self-censorship.

"The Interview" was undoubtedly a bad movie. However, to see it pulled because of threats from the retarded Humpty Dumpty lookalike who rules North Korea and the turd-blossoms who service him, is something that anyone who cares about freedom of expression should be angered and outraged over.

Sure, it's "just business" when a film get's pulled from distribution. Sure. theaters can screen what they want, and Sony can or cannot release whatever they choose. But the reason for THIS particular choice is bad.

"Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety." -- Ben Franklin

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Hacker assholes threaten '9/11 style' attack on movie theaters

Fuck those assholes. Fuck their demands.

I never see films on opening night, because I prefer half-empy to nearly empty theaters. It was something I developed a liking for back when I wrote movie reviews for a living, and because I don't like crowds. But I will make an exception for "The Interview." This is a film that only looked mildly interesting to me when I saw the preview. It was a film I was probably going to skip--as I do most movies these days--and MAYBE get around to it in two-three years if even then.

But these fuckers who hacked Sony's computers and stole scripts, emails, and payroll information have made sure that I will see this movie in a theater, on opening night, if at all possible. I almost always feel an obligation to see a movie that this or that collection of twats has called for a boycott against... and that obligation has just been placed upon me ten-fold with this one.

Fuck those assholes. Fuck their demands.

Click there to read how the dickless "Sony Hackers" have threatened violence at movie theaters that show "The Interview."

James Franco and Seth Rogan in "The Interview"

Friday, December 5, 2014

Stickers by Stan!

A sample of the Stickers By Stan!

My friend, former co-worker/collaborator Stan! is running a Kickstarter where you can get some of his great cartoons as clipart and some really fun stickers. It's worthy of your support... especially if you have kids who are in the age range where they love stickers. (Or if the kid in your still love stickers, and you want to have a few from one of the coolest cartoonists working today.)

Click here to see all the details on the Stickers By Stan! Kickstarter. There are four days left on it, so don't wait!

Sunday, November 30, 2014

'Mr. Sycamore' is the tale of a man who wants to make like a tree...

Mr. Sycamore (1974)
Starring: Jason Robards, Sandy Dennis, Jean Simmons, Robert Easton, and Brenda Smith
Director: Pancho Kohner
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

A mail carrier and discouraged poet (Robards) decides to escape his dreary life by transforming himself into a tree.

There are a rare few bad movies that still manage to hold your attention, even though they are dull and made duller by the fact that 45 minutes of material had to stretched to fill feature-film length. "Mr. Sycamore" is one such picture.

This could perhaps have been an interesting episode in a television anthology series, or perhaps as one of several episodes in an anthology film, but there simply wasn't enough substance to fill a feature. So, the audience is subjected to a pointless slapstick sequence involving two milk trucks, an almost as pointless dream sequence, and a storm as the film reaches its climax that is drawn out to the point where it blunts whatever impact it may have had.

It's a shame that the screenwriters and director didn't manage to translate the play they were adapting more effectively to the screen. Perhaps they could have done so if they hadn't hewn so close to the source material -- most scenes feel like they are were transcribed directly from the play and the actors likewise seem like they are doing a play rather than a movie. I don't mean that in the sense that they are "playing to the back rows" but rather that there is a formality and a "I say my line, you say your line, I say my next line" to their performances.

With a more effective script, "Mr. Sycamore" could have been a fabulous--if odd-- picture. It is consistently visually interesting and it features a powerhouse cast of actors that are all perfect for the roles they play. The visuals and the performances will keep you watching, even as you realize that this picture will ultimately make you wish you have those minutes of your life back. 

Friday, October 31, 2014

A very NUELOW Halloween!

The cover for NUELOW's horror anthology Feary Tales.

Happy Halloween all! If you're looking to get yourself some scary treats, you can get some of NUELOW Games' best-selling horror e-books for 33 percent off through Midnight tonight. Get yourself some great comics and fiction... and even some RPG material!

If you want a heart-stopping amount of horror comics, fiction, and RPG stuff (including the core rules for ROLF!), you need to grab A BUNDLE OF HORROR! It's got more than 20 great products, including our Halloween specials and an even lower price. This bone-chilling pile of terror is a very Halloweenish $13--roughly half off what it would cost you to buy each book separately.

Click here to see a listing of NUELOW's Halloween specials (good through Midnight, Oct. 31, 2014).

Click here to check out the full listing of what's in A Bundle of Horror.

Monday, September 15, 2014

Happy National Cheeseburger Day!

September 18 is National Cheeseburger Day. Happy artery clogging, everyone!

(I'll observe this grand holiday by having a cheeseburger. I may make it here at home, or I may run down the hill to Jack in the Box or Wendy's... it all depends how I feel come lunch time.)

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

In Sports News...

Michael Sam has gone to the Dallas Cowboys.

Now the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Kansas City Chiefs each need an "openly gay player."

Then all we'd need would be a biker, a cop, and a sailor.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Ali G has gone bad in a major way.

MI-5 and MI-6 has reported identified "John the Beatle." The dickless wonder who is the current superstar among the Lions of Islam, who displayed his bravery by cutting the head off a defenseless photographer is allegedly a "London rapper" by the name of Abdel-Majed Abdel Bary.

It's true. This man has no dick.
Click here to read more about the latest cowardly fuck whose picture the members of ISIS, al-Qaeda, and Hamas are masturbating over tonight.

Wednesday, April 30, 2014


Steve Davidson continues his quest to breathe new and vibrant life into the old gal....

Merchandise Based on Covers of the Historic Pulp Magazine To Be Produced

April 17, 2014
Hillsboro, NH

Amazing Stories is pleased to announce the licensing of its iconic name – Amazing Stories – to Open Road Brands, LLC.

Open Road Brands, LLC will be creating and distributing reproductions of early Amazing Stories covers in formats suitable for display and decoration. Open Road Brands supplies large chain stores and a variety of other markets; this licensing arrangement will place the Amazing Stories logo and cover art in high traffic retail locations throughout North America.

We're looking forward to helping to bring these iconic images to a wider audience; we know that fans love them and expect that there are many others out there who are fans but don't yet know it. What better way to introduce them all to the wonder and imagination of science fiction than Frank R. Paul artwork on the cover of Amazing Stories magazine!” said Steve Davidson, publisher and editor of the online magazine.

Open Road Brands, LLC specializes in combining innovative product design with recognizable brands – reminding consumers of why they love a brand and helping them make it a part of their lives.

Open Road Brands, LLC will be distributing a selection of Amazing Stories cover art to major retail chain stores such as Hobby Lobby and others. Don't be surprised to see an Amazing Stories' cover hanging on the wall at Cracker Barrel restaurants some day!
Artwork is currently in production. The Amazing Stories website will be sure to keep consumers informed of availability (expected during the 2nd - 3rd quarters of 2014.

For additional information:
Open Road Brands, LLC –

Amazing Stories is a registered trademark of Steve Davidson and The Experimenter Publishing Company
Hobby Lobby and Cracker Barrel are registered trademarks of their respective companies.