How to celebrate the death of Osama bin Ladenwithout offending the sensibilities of Muslims:Give me birthday presents!

There are no people in this world who are more sensitive and easily offended than Muslims. Cartoons offend them. Teddy bears offend them. Women offend them. Being offended offends them. Hell, Muslims offend Muslims.

And now, celebrating the death of Osama bin Laden, the dumping of bin Laden's body in the deep blue sea, and the promise of the White House releasing pictures of bin Laden's dead carcass offends Muslims.

So, how can a person who is concerned with not hurting the delicate feelings of our sensitive Muslim neighbors go about celebrating the death of Osama bin Laden?

The answer is easy! Do what they do when someone is brutally killed!

Remember scenes like this one?

In celebration of the murder of thousands of Americans on 9/11/2001, the ever-sensitive Muslims, whose lives revolve around the reaffirmation of all that is good and gentle about the best in human beings, handed out candy and treats to children and passer-bys across the "Muslim world".

Therefore, the way to celebrate the death of Osama bin Laden without offending Muslims, is to give gifts and treats to strangers! And who is stranger in your life than me, Steve Miller? You don't know me AND I'm strange!

So--and I'm talking especially to you liberals out there--join in the celebration of Osama bin Laden's death AND express your respect for Muslim culture and sensitives by giving gifts to ME. My birthday is on May 7, so your gift-giving will do double-duty! Let's all join together in political correctness!

There are two easy ways to give me presents. You can buy something off my Amazon.com wish list by clicking here, or you can give the gift that keeps on giving by putting cash in my Paypal account using the button below.

Give me gifts. It's the best way to show your respect for the Religion of Peace (while loving the fact there's less evil in the world today).